LOVE IS NOT SO IMPORTANT:

... YOU DON'T NEED TO LOVE A PERSON TO MARRY HIM OR HER!

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How would you know the right person for marriage?

Simple.

The person who values you the most is the right person for marriage.
The person who respects you more; accepts you for who you are, irrespective of your age, tribe, location or religion, or even disability, is the right person for you.

That one that does all he can to make you happy, even though he isn't perfect, is the right man for you.
That one that goes out of her way to put you first, even when you don't already treat her right, is the right woman for you.
That person who feels like home, that makes you feel at peace, is the one you should marry.

It can be hard sometimes. I know.
If it were so easy, you probably won't need to buy and read this book.
If it was very easy, I won't be a Relationship and Marriage Counselor.
There is a common dilemma that envelopes us and threatens to suffocate us.

THE ONES WE LOVE USUALLY DON'T LOVE US THAT MUCH.
AND THE ONES WE DON'T LOVE ARE THE ONES THAT PURSUE US ALL DAY LONG.

Life can be so funny!

This dilemma paralyses us. It makes it difficult to choose or even know whom to choose for marriage.
We pursue love. We want love. We want to give love and we become obsessed with finding people that will love us in return.
Within the context of preparing for marriage, love is good, but it is not so important, especially at the beginning.
In fact, love can cause you to make a bad or wrong decision for marriage.

Love characteristically makes us believe the best in people, stick with them for long as we expect them to change, even when they don't treat us well.

Love makes us see rainbows in everything.
This is good, but it can also be terrible.
In trying to choose whom to marry, love should sometimes be the last thing to consider.

If it is to be considered at all, it should come last.
Check thoroughly if the person on your marriage radar is good for you emotionally and mentally.
It has to be more than their good looks and bank statement!
Do they treat you well?
Do they create time for you, even when they get very busy?
Do they still give something to you, even from the little they have sometimes?

Maybe you don't love this person, but at least, he or she loves you.
This should be enough at the start.
You can marry someone that loves you even if you don't love them yet.

As long as they value and respect you and want to be with you, your love for them will come later.
It always does, as long as your heart stays open to them.
Love is wonderful. It is important, but it is not everything.

I wrote more about this in one of my Hot Best-Selling Books titled BLESSED BUT BLIND.
Get this book. You'll thank me later.

The secret to knowing the right person for marriage is in looking out for what will not kill you tomorrow or cause you stress and unhappiness later in a marriage.

The marriage game for a single man differs from what it is for a single woman.

A man is everything that a woman is not.
What a man needs, differs from what would sustain a woman.
Men and women, historically and emotionally, rarely want the same things.

To be fair, it is really hard to know what women want.
I feel that a lot of times, women are very unstable creatures.
What they pursued yesterday with vigour suddenly doesn't seem to interest them anymore today.

What they want now will become entirely different from what they will want tomorrow.

I usually have a hard time understanding them!
In fact, most women don't even understand themselves.
Men don't usually behave that way. Men are quite basic.
Give a man constant sex, a steady supply of good food and make him feel like a don and he will stay sweet on you forever.
I believe you can get and keep any man with these three things:

1. Sex.
2. Food.
3. Respect (The strategic massaging of his ego).

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Apart from these three important things, the rest is not so important for men.
Men are so simple. They understand themselves well.
A woman that will get and keep the right man needs to understand this too.

A lot of women don't know this secret.
Men all over the world have always known this secret.
It is a surprise that it has remained a secret for a very long time.
Whenever a single woman is finding it hard to get or keep a man, she is probably failing in one or more of those three secrets I shared with you.

To get a man, a woman needs to understand a man and what he wants.
Like I wrote earlier, men are simple beings.

Check very well. I didn't add love to the list.
I wouldn't dare try that if I made a list of what women want.
As unpredictable as women can be, every woman (pardon the generalisation) would always add love to what she wants from a man.
Men need love, but most men are not so hung up on love as women.
This means that a man can easily marry a woman that gives him those three things I mentioned earlier, even if he doesn't love her.
For example, when I married my wife years ago, I didn't do so for love.

I married her because she fucked me well, cooked like a chef, and treated me respectfully like a king.
The loving kind of "grew up on me," so to say.

And the truth is, you can grow to love anyone if you open your heart to them, even if you didn't love them at the beginning.
So, dear single man, even if you don't love her or feel anything special for her now, as long as she is good in those three areas I listed, MARRY HER!
The love will grow on you later if you open up your heart to her.




~BRIGHT U. NKWOCHA
(Relationship & Marriage Counselor)
08164137531

Before You Lust

A friend walked into my shop one afternoon with a cutie and introduced him as her cousin. He was a hunk of a guy, tall, muscled biceps, dark-skinned, a thrust out chest, full sensual lips and a handsome face to boot. When he spoke, there was a huskiness to his voice that triggered certain hormones in my body. And when he smiled, I was caught, hook, line and sinker. His smile would melt any woman's heart and the guy knew it. I was combusting and melting inside.

He knew I was caught on the allure of his gorgeous body. My friend talked, joked, and we laughed but all along I was lost to lust. I ogled his macho build, his hairy arms sent me to delightful fantasies. I practically undressed him with my eyes and my hands itched to follow my eyes. How my friend never caught the heat that oozed out of me beats me. But the guy knew he got me pant's down. I was willing to explore and experiment; he was too, and we spoke volumes with our eyes over my friend's head.

An hour later they left, and I watched his behind with longing until he disappeared out of sight. I sighed heavily, got up and increased the speed of the ceiling fan, to cool off.

“You're melting for a guy you don't even know.” My head said.

“It doesn't matter, the guy is a lady slayer.” My heart announced.

“I need just one night with him, or rather some time with him whether night or day makes no difference.” My body whispered.

Like I knew he would, he came back alone later in the day. We greeted, I held his hand, trialled my hand down his hairy arm and looked deep into his eyes, my intent clearly pooled in my eyes. The guy smiled, the smile of a spider that had caught a fly in its web.

But then we had to sit and chat, connect and make plans for a suitable rendezvous. I wanted to have him, to quench the fire he had ignited in my body. I fired off a lot of questions, occupation, hobbies and likes. After thirty minutes of talking with him, my lust froze, all my pent-up heat turned cold. He tried to use his smile to still win his way into my heart, but his smile had lost its potency as far as I’m concerned.

What happened? I discovered the guy had nothing upstairs. He wasn't educated, wasn’t the problem, he couldn’t speak fluently or express himself wasn’t why I backed off. These are non-issues, he was just a buffalo, nothing upstairs, that's what pissed me off. He was a bouncer at a club in one African country; I was not surprised, that’s the job I knew he would excel in. we had no meeting point apart from lust. And after we satisfy our lusts, what next? Character-wise, I don’t know how nice he would be when he switched off his charming smile. 

You have to look and look well before you lust after that man. Do not succumb to lust. Make sure the man has values and will add values to your life. Do not allow your body or your arousal to dictate for you. Listen to your head and not always follow your heart or your body.

The packaging might be enticing and beautiful but what's inside should be far better than the ornamental outside. It's not about having a good body, a beautiful/handsome face but building your inside to be as good as your outer wrappings. The guy could have been a total package, if he took time to develop himself, instead of just settling as a bouncer alone.

And don't fall for anybody because of outward appearances alone, except you don't have a standard. Or all you wanted is just FUN. But if you have a standard and love yourself, aspire for more in your relationship.

Women who do not care about whom they fall into bed with may wake up feeling hurt, worthless and used. Meeting a charming and nice man does not guarantee you have met a good man. You may think you are going in for a one-off affair, certain variables may come to play, and you end up with a regret.

Lust is a very transitory emotion, it is more like a reaction to a want not necessarily a need. Lust distort your thinking, it makes you lose control. The emotions of lust if not contained makes you act like an animal in heat.

Be aware; do not allow an inordinate desire for sex or money to push you to blindly act physically on your lust. Lust is a powerful desire, a destructive monster. You deserve so much better. You are worth so much more. 

5 Things Men Hate about Women

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Ask any man what he loves his chosen one for. Hardly anyone will answer that it is her size four breast. No matter how trivial it may sound, but they love women for the good character, for the sense of humor, for the similarity of interests, and more often – for the very particular feature that distinguishes a woman and allows the man to feel special with her.

5 kinds of girls men hate.

Now, let us try to understand what girls men are repelled by. There are several types of women that men find very difficult to get along with.

Woman-Boss

A successful and strong-willed woman, who is so independent and ambitious that men are often scared of her. She is too militant, and the potential chosen man has the impression that he starts a business relationship rather than a romantic one.

Dull Beggar

It is very difficult to carry her away with something, she spends little energy and rarely has her own opinion towards anything. It is difficult for a man to find anything in such a girl.
Just-a-Friend

She behaves in the company of men as if she were at home, her femininity gets lost among football, beer and dubious jokes. Some men would hate their girlfriend or wife behaving like this.

Princess, or Paris Hilton

She has very high demands, she loves luxury, flowers, and diamonds without restraining her desires. Not everyone can manage to keep up with such a woman. The Princess will immediately appreciate the watches, the clothes, the man’s car and will produce an impression of a superficial unnatural woman.

Obsessed Woman

This girl tests the man at once to check his suitability for the relationship and family life. She tries to lure the guy, seems to be too emotionally dependent and frightens the man with a prospect of a speedy marriage.

What Do Men Dislike in You?

Insensitive “spikes”, meticulous “naggers”, restless “crybabies”. To understand what can make a man reject you, you need to stay in his pair of shoes and assess the situation with a sober mind. Watch for yourself and try to avoid “sharp corners” in communication with what could potentially be “the one”.

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