LOVE IS NOT SO IMPORTANT:

... YOU DON'T NEED TO LOVE A PERSON TO MARRY HIM OR HER!

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How would you know the right person for marriage?

Simple.

The person who values you the most is the right person for marriage.
The person who respects you more; accepts you for who you are, irrespective of your age, tribe, location or religion, or even disability, is the right person for you.

That one that does all he can to make you happy, even though he isn't perfect, is the right man for you.
That one that goes out of her way to put you first, even when you don't already treat her right, is the right woman for you.
That person who feels like home, that makes you feel at peace, is the one you should marry.

It can be hard sometimes. I know.
If it were so easy, you probably won't need to buy and read this book.
If it was very easy, I won't be a Relationship and Marriage Counselor.
There is a common dilemma that envelopes us and threatens to suffocate us.

THE ONES WE LOVE USUALLY DON'T LOVE US THAT MUCH.
AND THE ONES WE DON'T LOVE ARE THE ONES THAT PURSUE US ALL DAY LONG.

Life can be so funny!

This dilemma paralyses us. It makes it difficult to choose or even know whom to choose for marriage.
We pursue love. We want love. We want to give love and we become obsessed with finding people that will love us in return.
Within the context of preparing for marriage, love is good, but it is not so important, especially at the beginning.
In fact, love can cause you to make a bad or wrong decision for marriage.

Love characteristically makes us believe the best in people, stick with them for long as we expect them to change, even when they don't treat us well.

Love makes us see rainbows in everything.
This is good, but it can also be terrible.
In trying to choose whom to marry, love should sometimes be the last thing to consider.

If it is to be considered at all, it should come last.
Check thoroughly if the person on your marriage radar is good for you emotionally and mentally.
It has to be more than their good looks and bank statement!
Do they treat you well?
Do they create time for you, even when they get very busy?
Do they still give something to you, even from the little they have sometimes?

Maybe you don't love this person, but at least, he or she loves you.
This should be enough at the start.
You can marry someone that loves you even if you don't love them yet.

As long as they value and respect you and want to be with you, your love for them will come later.
It always does, as long as your heart stays open to them.
Love is wonderful. It is important, but it is not everything.

I wrote more about this in one of my Hot Best-Selling Books titled BLESSED BUT BLIND.
Get this book. You'll thank me later.

The secret to knowing the right person for marriage is in looking out for what will not kill you tomorrow or cause you stress and unhappiness later in a marriage.

The marriage game for a single man differs from what it is for a single woman.

A man is everything that a woman is not.
What a man needs, differs from what would sustain a woman.
Men and women, historically and emotionally, rarely want the same things.

To be fair, it is really hard to know what women want.
I feel that a lot of times, women are very unstable creatures.
What they pursued yesterday with vigour suddenly doesn't seem to interest them anymore today.

What they want now will become entirely different from what they will want tomorrow.

I usually have a hard time understanding them!
In fact, most women don't even understand themselves.
Men don't usually behave that way. Men are quite basic.
Give a man constant sex, a steady supply of good food and make him feel like a don and he will stay sweet on you forever.
I believe you can get and keep any man with these three things:

1. Sex.
2. Food.
3. Respect (The strategic massaging of his ego).

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Apart from these three important things, the rest is not so important for men.
Men are so simple. They understand themselves well.
A woman that will get and keep the right man needs to understand this too.

A lot of women don't know this secret.
Men all over the world have always known this secret.
It is a surprise that it has remained a secret for a very long time.
Whenever a single woman is finding it hard to get or keep a man, she is probably failing in one or more of those three secrets I shared with you.

To get a man, a woman needs to understand a man and what he wants.
Like I wrote earlier, men are simple beings.

Check very well. I didn't add love to the list.
I wouldn't dare try that if I made a list of what women want.
As unpredictable as women can be, every woman (pardon the generalisation) would always add love to what she wants from a man.
Men need love, but most men are not so hung up on love as women.
This means that a man can easily marry a woman that gives him those three things I mentioned earlier, even if he doesn't love her.
For example, when I married my wife years ago, I didn't do so for love.

I married her because she fucked me well, cooked like a chef, and treated me respectfully like a king.
The loving kind of "grew up on me," so to say.

And the truth is, you can grow to love anyone if you open your heart to them, even if you didn't love them at the beginning.
So, dear single man, even if you don't love her or feel anything special for her now, as long as she is good in those three areas I listed, MARRY HER!
The love will grow on you later if you open up your heart to her.




~BRIGHT U. NKWOCHA
(Relationship & Marriage Counselor)
08164137531