Every woman wants a perfect man, a responsible man, and a financially capable man for a perfect relationship/marriage. Some never stop to ask if they will be the perfect woman for a man. It is vital for a woman to make herself the person a man wants to marry and live with happily.Before you think of marriage, try to add value to your life. Check yourself and determine which areas of your life you need to upgrade to become a better version of YOU. There is a saying that if you want to marry a prince, you make yourself a princess. How do you make yourself a princess?
Now that you’re single, it is the best time to focus on what will make you a better person. You can get to know yourself and work to improve yourself to become a worthy woman a man will want to marry and cherish. Now is the time to turn your attention to yourself and invest more in adding value to your life before you decide on the kind of man you want in your life.
When you focus on being the best YOU possible, life will reward you with the right man for that quality relationship your heart desires.
How to add value to yourself
Self-love
Self-love means loving yourself, but not in self-absorbing narcissistic ways. But being self-assured and confident about who you are and appreciating your self-worth as a woman is self-love.
When you know yourself, know your capabilities, and you’re aware of your aspirations in life, it will help you recognise and accept the kind of man that fits you and your personality.
When you love and respect yourself, you will attract a man who will love and respect you. You don’t have to compromise your self-esteem or status because of a man. How you treat yourself is how a man will treat you. What you allow into your life is what you get.
Learn to cook
Food is still a good way to a man’s heart, even though some modern-day women disprove that. Men want a woman who can cook nice homemade meals. They want value for their money and want to come home to a nicely prepared and delicious meal.
Take time to learn how to cook food that will tantalise a man’s taste bud. There are tutorials online for that, so take advantage of them.
Learn something new or do something new.
Learning is a continuous process. Don’t let yourself become stagnant. Learn something new always. Read books and watch films that will engage you mentally. Learn a new language, learn a new skill, develop a new hobby, just for the fun of it. Learn to cook new dishes. Surf the net and YouTube for something new to add to your life. Don’t ever be dormant.
Care about something. Go for something that will improve your life, mentally and physically. Be passionate about it and pursue it. Follow your dreams or anything that makes you feel good about yourself.
As a single woman, you can do whatever you want to do when you want to do it since there is no one to answer to yet. So, live your life to your full potential.
Learn how to drive.
If you have the time and don’t know how to drive, there’s no harm in learning how to drive. It will come in handy one day. Be ready for opportunities. Don’t wait until you marry a man with a car to learn to drive.
Take care of yourself.
Taking good care of yourself physically, mentally, and emotionally is essential. Eat good food, sleep well, take care of your health, and go for medical checks periodically. Live intentionally and purposefully.
Do not neglect your physical appearance. Stay in shape and be fit. If you don’t love your body, work on it. Try to exercise, and do workouts. Go for walks. Go for runs.
If you have mental health challenges, anger issues or insecurities, work on them and learn how to manger your disabilities and negative habits. When you’re aware of them, it becomes easier for you to tackle.
Have goals.
Responsible men regard women without goals, dreams, or desires as a dead weight. Make sure you have some goals and plans. Don’t enter a relationship with an empty head. Bring something, a ‘brainful’ of ideas, achievable goals and not just your body.
Also, have a financial plan for yourself. You know you will marry one day, start saving up for a wedding now. Who says the man should bear the cost of the wedding alone?
Groom yourself to be the kind of person you desire to marry. Do you want someone healthy? Be healthy yourself. Do you want someone educated? Be educated too. Do you want someone God-fearing? Be God-fearing as well. If you want a man that is financially responsible, be the same too. Train yourself to be a good home manager.
When you add value to yourself and make yourself a woman of substance, then be sure to go into a relationship with a man who has value too, and a man who will see and appreciate your worth.
If you’re in a relationship already, here are tips on how to have a quality relationship.
How to have a quality relationship
Don’t settle.
If you know your worth and what you want in a relationship, you won’t settle for Mr Available. You will rather wait for Mr Right. Mr Perfect is a mirage because no one is perfect. The man who is right for you and treats you right is your Mr Right.
Due to fear or peer pressure, don’t settle for a man when you know right inside your heart that he is not who you want. You will be miserable in that relationship. Wait for the right man, and try to add value to your life.
Have a life of your own.
No matter how much you love your partner, that shouldn’t stop you from having a life of your own.
Have some independence and an identity of your own. Don’t abandon your friends or your routine because you’re in a relationship. Don’t become too dependent on the man, physically, emotionally, or financially. Also, don’t play couple when the guy has not proposed yet.
Don’t revolve your life around the man. Take care of yourself, pursue your hobbies or career or whatever makes you happy outside your relationship. You need to enhance your life in other ways, or else you won’t have any value to add to your relationship.
Don’t be needy.
Having a life of your own ensures you’re not needy and that your life doesn't revolve around the man.
Needy behaviour is suffocating in relationships. Being needy will not endure you to your man, nor will it help you to hold on to him. Rather, it has the opposite effect of pushing him away. The desperation to hold on to a man is because you have found nothing deserving in yourself.
Many women exude confidence at first but show dependent tendencies as the relationship progresses. Being needy belittles you and makes you lose your self-esteem.
Love yourself.
If you love yourself, then you will automatically take care of yourself. Stay healthy, get enough sleep, and do what makes you happy and fulfilled. Look at all your good qualities and decide to love yourself exactly the way you're right now.
Believe in yourself, stand tall, and don't let anyone put you down or put you on a shelf. Love yourself wholeheartedly. If you don’t love yourself enough, you will not attract the level of love you want in your relationship. How you carry and treat yourself is the exact way a man will treat you.
A high-quality man can not love and value you until you love and value yourself as the amazing woman you are.
Speak out.
When you’re hurting or going through stuff, please speak out. Don’t suppress your emotions, negative or positive. Air them out and let your partner be aware of them. Nobody is a mind reader. To have your voice heard, speak out and speak your mind.
Talk to your partner about your problems. As a team, two of you should find a solution or decide how to solve the problem together. Speak to family or close friends and seek advice when you have issues in your relationship. Don’t bottle it up or cover it up.
Don’t change him.
Never go into a relationship with someone hoping you will change his character. Don’t try to force your opinions on him regarding how he dresses, his friends, his work situation, hobbies and habits.
If you don’t like cigarettes, don’t befriend a smoker. If you don’t like alcohol, don’t go into a relationship with a winebibber, thinking you will get him to drop the habit.
Women make that mistake a lot. They get into a relationship with a man, hoping to influence him to change. Or that loving and showing him love will make him drop his bad habit. Probably he will stop for a while just to please you, and the moment you settle into the relationship, he returns to his old ways.
If you don’t like how he is or who he is now, you shouldn’t be with him. If you choose to be with him to change his lifestyle to fit yours, you will never be happy in the long run.
Because you can’t change a grown man. It will be easier to effect changes in your life than to change another person.
Set boundaries.
You must set boundaries in your romantic relationship. It allows you to express your needs and expectations to your partner. Make sure your partner understands and respects your boundaries.
The behaviour you allow is the behaviour that will persist. So from the onset, put your foot down and don’t accept intimidation or disrespectful attitude from your partner.
Tolerate no kind of abuse. Abuse isn’t just about the man hitting you, beating you, or yelling at you during a conflict. Abuse is also mentally and emotionally inflicted, too. Don’t allow your partner to belittle you, degrade you, or insult you. If a relationship does not make you feel happy, secure, or valued, walk away. Every woman should be able to walk away from a relationship that she feels is not healthy.
Many people will take advantage of you when you don’t enforce your boundaries. Learn when to compromise and when to stand your ground. Strive for a healthy balance of being selfless and selfish. Make decisions that align with your inner peace, that support your self-care, self-value, and self-worth.
Show appreciation.
When you appreciate someone, the person does more for you. Bear in mind that everyone wants to be appreciated by their partner. Never take your partner for granted. For every kind gesture and action, learn to say thank you. Even if he does little things like help you in the kitchen, thank him for it. When you appreciate him, he will probably do more for you in the future to keep you happy.
However, the appreciation should go both ways too. A relationship is a two-way street. Your partner should be appreciative too and never take you for granted.
Don’t be jealous or possessive.
Possessiveness gives room for jealousy. And jealousy is a monster that gives birth to cruelty and other toxic acts in a relationship.
Understandably, every woman wants to keep her man. However, there is a fine line between wanting to keep him for yourself and being overly jealous and possessive about him. Don’t smother your partner with your jealousy. It will kill the relationship fast.
Insecurity and lack of self-confidence is mostly the root cause of overly possessive attitude. Try to be more secure with yourself, and build your self-confidence, so you don’t worry about losing a man. And even if he walks out of the relationship, you need to know that you’ll be okay and capable of taking care of yourself.
Be kind and loving.
To have a quality relationship, you must love your man consciously, kindly, compassionately, and without suspicion or distrust. To love consciously means having your eyes wide open, loving with your head and not only your heart. And be able to discern when to walk away from situations that are feeling one-sided.
Kindness and love are enduring qualities that build up quality relationships. Love your man, show him respect, and never insult him. Be his ego booster.
Relationships are wonderful, sometimes complicated, and in some cases, difficult. As a woman, you need to be emotionally intelligent to have a quality relationship.
