Setting goals for your relationship.

It’s that time of the year when people make New Year's resolutions or plans for the year. In making your plans or resolutions for the year, don’t leave your relationship behind, it is the pivotal wheel of your life. If you’re happy and comfortable every other aspect of your life will align to give you peace of mind.

If you do not feel happy, secure, and valued, in your relationship this is the time to do something about it. This year, evaluate your relationship, set goals and make plans to overhaul and improve on it to get value.

Having a good relationship gives off a beautiful feeling. To maintain this feeling, you have to work with your partner to strengthen the bond of your relationship.

Also, if your relationship has lost its lustre and is in a stale mode, try to revamp and add more spark to your relationship To add spark to your relationship and ensure it doesn’t die out, all you have to do is set relationship goals.

What are relationship goals?

Relationship goals are the aims and inputs that a couple wants to achieve and experience in their relationship. It is also a set target a couple looks forward to achieving to build a stronger and healthier bond.

How to work on your relationship goals

Create time for your partner and make it a daily ritual to connect, communicate and share the details of your day with your partner. It’s important to sit together to share what each other went through for the day. Listening very carefully, and being present while your partner is talking, try to remove any form of distraction. Be free and open, talk your heart out.

* Though love is the backbone of every relationship, however, friendship plays just an important role in promoting a healthy relationship. Work on your friendship and have your partner’s back at all times. Becoming each other’s best friend promotes comfort when you two are having a conversation, joking around and cherishing each moment just like you would with your besties.

* Keep your sex interesting. Don’t let it be a dull and monotonous activity. Look for ways to spice things up and work hard to please each other in bed.

* Build more support channels for each other. When things go wrong, don’t engage in blame war, rather strive to have each other’s back no matter what and support each other in the darkest times.

*Do something new once a month. It’s never good to remain the same as monotony is terrible for relationships. Go the extra mile to keep things fast-paced and exciting in your relationship.

* Take extra care of how you look at least once a month by staying on top of your fashion game because the single biggest killer of any relationship is a drab, boring, and dull presence that your partner might lose interest in very quickly.

* Handle conflicts with patience. Remember that conflict is inevitable in a marital relationship. Instead of avoiding problems and conflicts, you should adopt a collaborative, problem-solving mindset to ensure you’re always ready to resolve conflicts when they arise.

Conclusion

No one is perfect, so there is nothing like a perfect relationship. A genuine love relationship is making a conscious decision to accommodate your partner, their weakness and vulnerabilities.

Every relationship is a work in progress and there is always room for improvement and growth, that's why you need to evaluate your relationship from time to time to improve on it.

If you’re not happy or satisfied with your relationship, you can work to improve it to get the happiness and satisfaction you want.

Just Overwhelm Yourself (J.O.Y)

“Joy in one’s heart and some laughter on one’s lips is a sign that the person down deep has a pretty good grasp of life.” — Hugh Sidey

One weekend I was out with a friend for a point-and-kill fish and a drink at an open bar. As we took our seats, I noticed a young, bearded and handsome guy sitting alone at a table beside us. Fela’s music was blasting on the speaker and the guy was singing along. 

My attention kept going to him not because he was sitting and drinking alone. NO. My instinct told me the guy was trying hard to make himself happy. His actions and the animated smile were obvious signs of inner distress. 

He sang along with whatever music was on, shook his body, threw his hands in the air and sometimes drummed on the table while sipping his drink. I noticed only a bottle of beer on his table but when he called the waitress twice for more drinks, I looked under the table and saw about five empty bottles. I became more convinced the guy was not only chasing his happiness but drinking away his sorrow. And No, he wasn’t drunk just dunking whatever was ailing his heart with alcohol.

Inwardly I lauded his actions, instead of pining away at home, he came out in the open to drink and catch some fun, alone.  When you feel overwhelmed by circumstances beyond your control. Get up and get out, if you don’t drink or have the money for a bottle of drink, talk a walk around your neighbourhood.

Do whatever will make you happy. Chase happiness, you’re entitled to it but not at someone’s else expense. Don’t wait for someone to make you happy, and don’t put the key to your happiness in someone’s hand, you will be disappointed.

Cultivate the spirit of joy in your heart. Only when your Joy is full and running over does happiness flourish. Joy is internal, happiness is external and often depends on happenstance, but Joy is a state of being that flows from inside you.

Don’t let anyone or circumstance steal your happiness or extinguish your Joy. There’s always a reason to cry, grieve or get angry when provoked, however, it’s only for a season. Don't stretch it.

In this new year, Just Overwhelm Yourself (J.O.Y) with happiness, laughter, and love.

Infuse laughter into your life. If you find no reason to laugh, fake it until you learn to laugh without a reason. Also, you can count your blessings. Considering the good things in your life will give you a reason to smile, and laugh. A peal of undiluted laughter is a sign of unbridled joy in the heart.

So, Laugh Out Loud!!!

Start the year with a sound of laughter. Let it bang and resonate around you.

Laugh at your stupidity

Laugh at your quirk

Laugh through your dreadful days

Laugh away your sorrow.

Laugh at situations rather than bemoan them.

Laugh at your own mistakes and foibles.

Laugh at the absurdity of life.

Look for the humour in an unpleasant situation, and laugh.