Why Love Without Boundaries Becomes Exploitation

We love the idea of “limitless” love—raw, selfless, all-giving. A kind of devotion that empties itself without ever asking to be filled.

It sounds beautiful. Noble, even. But in the reality of human relationships, love without boundaries isn’t romance—it’s erosion.

Because when there are no clear lines between where

you end and someone else begins, intimacy doesn’t deepen. It dissolves. And in that space, one person’s needs quietly begin to consume the other. What looks like love on the surface often becomes control underneath.

The Dangerous Myth of the “Selfless” Lover

We’ve been taught to admire the partner who sacrifices everything, the one who cancels their plans, swallows their discomfort, and absorbs emotional chaos just to “keep the peace.”

But there is a difference between being loving and being available for harm.

• Emotional Labor Without Limits
  
   When boundaries are absent, one person becomes the permanent emotional container—holding, absorbing, and managing feelings that were never theirs to carry alone.
  
  
• The Slow Disappearance of Self
  
   If you cannot say “no,” your “yes” loses all meaning.
  
   You stop being a partner and start becoming an extension—an accessory to someone else’s life.
  
  

And over time, that quiet self-erasure breeds something dangerous: resentment disguised as patience.

What Boundaries Actually Do

Boundaries are often misunderstood as walls meant to keep people out.

They’re not.

They are gates—clear, intentional, and necessary—defining how others are allowed to enter your life.

They don’t block love. They protect it.

Here’s how:

• They Preserve Respect
  
   Boundaries communicate value. They say: my time, energy, and emotional space are not unlimited resources.
  
  
• They Encourage Responsibility
  
   When you stop over-functioning, others are forced to meet themselves.
  
   Boundaries don’t punish—they reveal.
  
  
• They Prevent Emotional Bankruptcy
  
   Love requires energy. Without limits, you don’t become more loving—you become depleted. And eventually, even the deepest affection turns into exhaustion.

The Architecture of Healthy Love

Healthy love is not a merger. It is a partnership between two whole people.

Without boundaries, love becomes an obligation.

With boundaries, it becomes a choice.

The Exploitative Version (No Boundaries) 

Doing everything for them so they never struggle.

Always available regardless of your state

Ignoring your hurt feelings to avoid an argument.

 The Healthy Version (With Boundaries) 

Standing by them while they solve their own problems. 

Scheduling time to talk when you have the mental space. 

Addressing the issue directly to protect the relationship. 

Love Needs Structure to Survive

Love is often compared to water—soft, fluid, life-giving. But water without a container doesn’t nurture.  It spills, spreads thin, and disappears. Boundaries are that container.

They give love direction.

They give it weight.

They give it a future.

Setting a boundary isn’t an act of rejection—it’s an act of preservation. It ensures that what you give comes from a place of fullness, not sacrifice.

Establishing boundaries should not be seen as a sign of coldness or a lack of affection. Instead, it is a profound demonstration of self-respect and care. By establishing clear boundaries, you ensure that the love you provide remains healthy and sustainable, instead of gradually depleting your own emotional resources. This balance protects both your well-being and the integrity of your relationships, allowing love to flourish in a way that benefits everyone involved.

While the notion of selflessness in relationships is laudable, it is essential to recognise the importance of boundaries. They not only protect your well-being but also foster a healthier, more balanced partnership where both individuals can thrive.

Practical Boundary: Speaking Without Guilt

Boundaries are not just ideas—they are language.

And like any language, they take practice.

The goal is not to sound harsh, but to be clear.

Clarity, in the long run, is kindness.

1. When You’re Emotionally Drained

“I care about you and I want to be present for this, but I don’t have the capacity right now. Can we talk about it later when I can really listen?”

Why it works: You’re not rejecting them—you’re protecting the quality of your presence.

2. When Your Time Is Being Assumed

“I appreciate you thinking of me, but I’m stretched thin right now. I need to focus on my own priorities, so I’ll have to pass.”

Why it works: It removes guilt and centers your responsibility to yourself.

3. When a Partner Pushes Your Comfort

“I enjoy being with you, but I’m not comfortable with that. I’d like us to find something that works for both of us.”

Why it works: It sets a firm line without threatening the relationship.

4. When Family Oversteps

“I understand you care, but I’m not looking for advice on this right now. Let’s talk about something else.”

Why it works: It acknowledges intention while protecting your space.

And here’s the truth many people avoid:

If someone becomes upset when you set a boundary, it often means they were benefiting from your lack of one.

Their discomfort doesn’t mean you’re wrong.

It means something has changed.

Love that costs you your identity is not love—it’s slow surrender.

The healthiest relationships are not built on endless giving, but on mutual respect, honest limits, and the freedom to remain whole within connection.

Because real love doesn’t ask you to disappear. It asks you to stay.

SALUTE TO COURAGEOUS MEN ON IWD 2025

To the men who stand, bold and true,

Who lift us up, not hold us down,

Who see our worth, not as a threat,

But as a force the world must get.

You do not mock, you do not shame,

For power shared yields great value.

Real men uplift, they share, they serve,

With strength that stands, not one that shatters.

You do not silence, crush, or break,

But oil our wings and cheer us on.

You make no space for fear or scorn,

For hands that build should not be torn.

You know that strength is not in chains,

But in the love that breaks old pains.

You do not sneer, you do not scoff,

Nor douse the flames that burn within.

You do not shun, or twist, or taunt,

Or feed the fears that some men flaunt,

You fan our fiercest dreams,

Standing with us as brothers stand.

You honour voices, minds, and might,

And walk beside us in the light.

So here’s a charge to men today:

Step up, speak out,

Amplify the voices of women everywhere!

Misogyny is low, unwise,

It dims the world, it blinds the eyes.

Be bold, be great, be just, be true,

For when we rise, we rise with you!

By

Ejiro Joyce Otive-Igbuzor

Affection in Romantic Relationships.

The need to feel loved is one of the essential reasons for a relationship. This feeling of love is reflected through affection. It is a demonstration and affirmation of love for your partner. Affection helps partners to bond and creates a relationship of closeness and connection. 

In a loving relationship, affection is the glue that holds partners together. Consciously show affection because lack of affection brings up other issues in a relationship. Partners need to feel loved or other negative thoughts could follow.

One of the fuels that power relationships is love. The need to feel loved through affection from your partner is a big emotional need every partner desires. As humans, we constantly crave positive attention; showing affection is the best way to receive and give attention.

Affection is an important part of a healthy relationship because it helps to create a strong bond between two people. It is a way to show love, care, and respect for one another. Affection can also help to reduce stress, build trust, and strengthen communication. 

Four hallmarks of affectionate relationship. 

Accepting your partner.

To feel accepted is a human need that most people have and one of the places people seek this acceptance is in their relationships. The feeling that your partner accepts you regardless of imperfections, flaws, and insecurities, is a big boost in life. Acceptance fosters unity and enables partners to feel comfortable in the relationship without judgment.

Acceptance comes with understanding your partner and trusting them.  It is not just about fitting in with your partner’s lifestyle; it means bringing your partner closer by involving them in all aspects of your life.

When the emotional need to feel accepted is unfulfilled, it can cause secrets to grow and lies to enter and make the relationship toxic or unhealthy.

Valuing your partner.

It is advisable to derive your sense of value from yourself. However, feeling valued by someone you love is a human trait. The show of affection means, your partner values and prioritises your and your contributions in the relationship.

You and your partner may have contributions towards building your relationship, still, beyond these contributions, there exists an emotional need to feel valued for just yourself, aside from the responsibilities you perform.

It is important to try to convey how valuable your partner is to you through affection which is reflected through basic interactions between you and your partner. This can be done with compliments or simply by just telling them. Showing your partner you care, even in non-physical ways, can help your relationship thrive. 

Affection and appreciation convey a sense of being valued by your partner. Feeling valued is a big emotional need in a relationship and acting affectionately towards your partner boosts relationship satisfaction.

Feeling emotionally secure with your partner

Affection conveys a feeling of trust which breeds the feeling of security. Your partner has to feel they can trust you with anything before they feel safe. Everyone has a personal history of trust and the feeling of being safe around others based on their experiences.

Feeling emotionally secure is vital in a relationship because it allows you to free your mind and feelings towards your partner. 

When you feel safe with your partner, you can tell them secrets you would not tell other people and it also means your partner can trust you with anything. The show of affection builds security in a relationship and makes partners more comfortable sharing their feelings.

Ensure your partner always feels safe with you through genuine affection. When people feel safe in relationships, they have a sense of security knowing that their partners have their back.

Feeling an emotional connection with your partner.

It is important to keep the feeling of love burning in your relationship through affection. A relationship is an act where two people come together to share their lives. It is important to remember  you’re two people with separate interests, and experiences. 

When you share your life with someone, you must find a way to harmonise your interest with that person. Emotional connection is crucial to the success of your relationship. This connection implies an alignment with your partner’s interests and needs.

Building connection with your partner is achieved through affectionate gestures of love or physical intimacy. Such acts strengthen the bond of togetherness between the partners.

When partners do not feel connected to one another, they merely becomes two different people living together and in such a situation, it is difficult to be empathetic toward each other.

Affection is a tangible way of showing love and care, showing and receiving affection is an important aspect of any healthy relationship. 

In a romantic relationship, a lack of affection can cause doubts, and conflicts, and may lead to possible issues. Gestures of affection make your partner feel loved, accepted, valued, secure and not alone in the relationship.

The Withered Flower(A Review)

Whatever is placed in your hand, be it skill, talent, relationship, love, your children or spouse, is a flower that needs tender nurturing. Where you fail to nurture it, it dies. Dead things are dead. Most things don’t die suddenly, they start gradually, and little by little they wilt until they dry up and die.

 Nurturing anything requires attention and intentionality. You have to put in the time and the work and walk as well. Yes mobility, there is no growth when you sit tight in your comfort zone, whatever you feed your time, focus and energy, grow.

Love, in particular, is an exotic and fragile flower that demands care, dedication, and commitment to flourish in a relationship. 

As I write in a poem, “Love is a beautiful feeling to have, a precious gift to share, a rare treasure, and a priceless jewel to cherish forever.” In another poem, I also write, “It takes two to walk in love. It takes two to work at love. It takes two to agree about love. It takes two to exercise love.” 

Couples are flowers planted in the marriage garden and if planted on good soil with adequate nurturing from the partners, they flourish.

My story, The Withered Flower,  in We Rise! An Anthology of Women’s Voices is a story of love left to wither because of a man’s egoistic tendencies.

A man who wants to prove that He is the head of the family and SHE must submit to his instruction. Of course, she did, she wanted a peaceful home, a happy home. 

However, a submission must be met with a corresponding measure of love from the man for balance to exist. As the Bible says, “Husbands, love your wives. Wives, submit to your husbands.”

When Sandra realises her submission is taken for granted and makes her worth nothing more than a decorative flower and a trophy wife to a man who never appreciates her—a man who makes her feel insignificant- a man who disregards her feelings and career ambitions—she knows it's time to prioritise her life, career, and happiness over her marriage. 

As her marriage hits rock bottom, she moves out of her matrimonial home. Though she is ready to move back in and start afresh. But the question remains: Is her husband, Joseph, willing to discard his inflated ego and jealousy, meet her demands, and give their marriage a second chance?

Get copies here:

https://selar.co/6q2x71

Or here: 

https://www.lulu.com/spotlight/galsglobalhangout

Rhythms of Love and Life(Poems)

About the book

Love is the beat and the emotional lyric that gives life expression. The breath of love makes the rhythms of life poetic. Poems are catalogues of our life’s journeys and our love stories. Life and love are complicated, and poetry brings out this complication succulently. 

Life is a beautiful and complex experience encompassing a range of emotions, from love and joy to sorrow and grief. Whether we are saying goodbye to a loved one or welcoming a new life into the world, poetry can capture the essence of these moments and give them a sense of buoyancy and grace. 

Every celebration, sorrowful or joyful, has rhythms to them. With poetry, we celebrate life with all its thrills, turbulence, and hullabaloo. And love, with its sweetness, sting of sourness and heartbreak. 

By harnessing the power of language and imagery, we create eulogies with poems to express our deepest emotions. 

https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0CH8TVC5G

Review of Building Intimacy By John Chinaka Onyeche

Romantic love has a hidden desire and is possessive. With time, feelings such as jealousy, impatience, misunderstanding, lust, discord, and strife rock the relationship. Because physical qualities and desires are the foundation, it topples. When the chemistry and attraction dry up, love shrinks, and we notice and point out negative things and hold grudges." - Ngozi Ebubedike. Building Intimacy. 

Picking up this book written for Love, I have often asked myself a thousand and one questions as to know if I should read the book or just let it be because it is for love/lovers which I can only see myself out of the entire story of love/loving to an extent. 

Ngozi's insights on love and intimacy expanded my understanding of what love should be. Each chapter prompts introspection and provides answers that come like a powerful gust of wind.

How else should a work of art hold you bound, I leave such a question from this wonderful book for you to answer after reading it. 

Starting from the first chapter to the last, Ngozi held her readers with care and helped them walk through the lanes and lens of a retrospective moment to know from where they have fallen from this emotion called love/loving. 

I - intentionally

N - nurture 

T - traits 

I - inclined to 

M - motivate 

A - affectionate 

C - comradeship 

Y - your partner 

This is her definition of intimacy and if you truly go through it, you will believe me that many of us are nowhere to be found in this thing called love/loving. 

I think I should be using "Loving", instead of love. 

From its forward, there was this scenario that was created to depict what most of us call intimacy or love in short. 

'The sales girl gave us a different taste of each with disposable plastic mini cups to help us choose. We sipped, trashed the cup, and waited to sample the next one. That is how modern-day relationships have reduced the integrity of love.' 

Pictures upon pictures of what deplorable condition our human world has left love to and the aftermath of this negative impact of everyone tasting and not for the sake of maintenance but 'since it is plenty in the market, let me see the next one' mindset is wracking havocs already. 

"in today's world, genuine love is in short supply, and intimacy is a lesser travelled route. People no longer have long-term plans for relationships. They are after the here-and-now thrills."  

For me, this is a must-come-back-to-read book of all time and I will be glad to recommend it to you if you have anything to do with finding and maintaining an intimate relationship with anyone. Add this book to your shelf and thank me later. 

Finally, in her exact words, "We put much stock in finding a partner for a relationship. But after a short while, we forget why we are in a relationship and discard all the show of care and affection exhibited at the beginning." 

Go get your copy of this book today and find out more than I can write here. 

https://selar.co/16i3w0

https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0CD125J4L

One-sided relationship

What Is a One-Sided Relationship?

Are you putting more effort into your relationship than your partner? Are you investing more energy and time into making the relationship work? Are you always the one reaching out, doing all the texting, calling, and planning of dates? If the answer is yes, you're probably in a one-sided relationship. 

A one-sided relationship is a situation where one partner is carrying most of the responsibilities; financially, physically, emotionally, and mentally. It is also a situation where one partner has strong feelings or affection for someone who does not share those feelings with them. 

An imbalance in action, emotional investment, and mutuality of feelings between partners characterised a one-sided relationship. 

It is emotionally challenging and potentially toxic for one partner in a romantic relationship to shoulder most of the shared activities, or take care of most of the duties the couple should share equally. For a relationship to be healthy and balanced it requires effort from both partners. 

Because of this imbalance, the person doing all the work often feels resentful, which can be emotionally and physically draining. 

A mutual, and satisfying relationship provides stability and security. But a one-sided relationship lacks the healthy balance required for stability. 

When one partner works harder than the other to keep the relationship afloat, with time the connection, the amount of effort, energy, communication, emotional, or financially input will dissolve because the imbalance is only sustainable for a while. Loneliness, frustration, resentment, anger, insecurity and other emotions will surface with time.

Twelve signs that show you're in a one-sided relationship:

Unequal Effort: One partner always puts in more effort, starts contact, plans activities, or shows more affection, while the other partner shows little emotion and put no effort to make the relationship vibrate. When the other person doesn’t seem to care or doesn't put in much effort, you feel you're forcing a connection. It leaves you doubting their intentions, commitment, and investment in the relationship. 

Lopsided Communication: One partner dominates conversations, and always dismisses or ignores the other's opinions, feelings, and interests. Or one partner is constantly initiating activities and communication because the other partner expects you to start interactions, and make plans for what you do together. Though some people are better at communicating and planning than others it doesn’t mean you should be the only one putting effort to keep the relationship alive. Your partner should at least put in some effort and show commitment.

Lack of Reciprocity: One partner consistently seeks emotional or practical support, but rarely provides the same level of support when the other partner needs such. Also, when affection, care, or support is mostly or entirely one-sided, with little or no reciprocation from the other partner. When you constantly crave their attention and care and never get it. 

In a balanced relationship, you don’t need to work for time and attention from your partner. Instead, both should want to connect physically and emotionally if the interest is mutual. 

One-Way Sacrifices: One partner consistently makes sacrifices or compromises to accommodate the other's needs or desires, while the other is indifferent. You sacrifice everything to make your partner happy; you ignored your wants and needs just to hold up the relationship and you make excuses all the time to exonerate your partner’s behaviour. That's a sign you are compromising and sacrificing too much for someone who doesn't value you or the relationship as much as you do. 

Emotional Unavailability: One partner is emotionally distant, avoids sharing feelings, or minimises the importance of the relationship, leaving the other partner feeling unsupported. Or where your partner uses your emotions or feelings to manipulate you to their advantage, without genuine care or commitment. They are never emotionally available.

Self-Centeredness: One partner primarily focuses on their own needs, goals, and interests, while disregarding or undermining the other partner's aspirations. They rarely initiate anything that would be to your benefit. If the other partner is insecure, they try to control the other by limiting their contact with family and friends and dictating how they should live their life.

Limited Time and Attention: Your partner consistently prioritises other activities, hobbies, or friendships over spending quality time with you, making you feel unimportant and unwanted in the relationship. They never have time enough for you or pay attention to your feelings and moods.

Lack of Appreciation: Your partner rarely acknowledges or expresses gratitude for the efforts and contributions you made in the relationship. They show a lack of interest, disinterest, or indifference toward your feelings or well-being.

Decision-Making Disparities: Your partner consistently makes important decisions without consulting or considering your opinions, leading to feelings of exclusion. This often leads to emotional distress, insecurity, and frequent fluctuations between hope and disappointment. Or maybe you are the one to make most major relationship decisions while your partner doesn’t care either way or shrug off the responsibility of making important decisions altogether. So you carry the weight of almost all the important decisions on your shoulder with little or no input from your partner.

Weaponised Incompetence: Your partner intentionally put up actions designed to burden you with responsibilities they don’t want to deal with. It is a situation where your partner feigns an inability to perform basic tasks and so shifts the burden of responsibility to you and conveniently gets out of contributing or investing their time and effort in the relationship.

Making Excuses: You are the one to apologise, whether or not you are at fault, after a conflict or argument, in other to keep the relationship going without your partner taking responsibility for their actions. If your partner is always twisting your words or making you feel guilty for expressing your feelings or resentment, you're most likely in a toxic, one-sided relationship. 

You should never have to apologise or feel ashamed for seeking support, especially from your partner.

Lack of Intimacy. How do you connect intimately with your partner? Does your partner shower you with physical affection like cuddling or holding hands? Do you share an intellectual connection over books or movies? Intimacy is not just sexual. If your partner is not interested in sharing intimate moments with you, it means the relationship is probably a one-sided one.

Causes Of One-Sided Relationships

Sometimes relationships are one-sided because one partner is manipulative or toxic. In other cases, however, a variety of factors can contribute to a relationship becoming one-sided.

Poor Communication Skills

One or both partners struggle with sharing their feelings, needs, and preferences. Practising and improving communication skills can help increase clarity, and proffer solutions, responses, and opportunities to repair and rebuild the relationship if that is the desire of both partners.

Insecurity

One partner is afraid of losing the relationship if they don't take care of everything themselves. This leads to them taking on an imbalanced share of responsibility in the relationship.

Conflicting Expectations

Each partner has a set of ideas about what a relationship means and what they hope to get out of it. If you are more committed and dedicated to the relationship than your partner is, it is bound to feel one-sided. Sometimes one-sided relationships occur because of a lack of communication and clarity about expectations, hopes, and feelings.

Personal Problems

If one partner is dealing with stress or battling symptoms of a mental health condition, it can play a role in how they act in a relationship. They may not give their partners the attention they need because they are grappling with personal issues.

Attachment Syndrome

Attachment syndrome can play a role in how people behave in romantic relationships. Someone with a serious attachment problem may worry that the other person does not feel as strongly as they do.

This can lead to one partner becoming clingy and enmeshed in the relationship while the other tries to get away from it as best as possible. In romantic relationships, this type of behaviour often leads one partner to become emotionally dependent on the other.

Impact of One-Sided Relationship

One-sided relationships are toxic, especially when one partner is intentionally taking advantage of the other. Some of the damaging effects of this type of relationship include:

Increased stress: The stress of being in this type of relationship takes a toll on both your physical and mental health. While healthy relationships act as protective buffers against stress, research has found that some relationships create stress that is harmful to your health. Issues like insomnia, anxiety, depression, and decreased immunity are a few of the potentially detrimental effects of excessive stress. 

Feelings of loneliness: Besides the stress of doing most of the work in the relationship, the lack of mutual effort can leave one partner feeling isolated. They might not be able to talk to the other partner about their feelings or the problem they are dealing with.

Low self-esteem: The disappointment one partner experiences in a one-sided relationship leaves them feeling rejected, unsupported, and unloved. This can make it hard for them to feel confident and secure in the relationship. Constantly pursuing someone who does not reciprocate your feelings can take a toll on your self-esteem, leading to feelings of inadequacy or unworthiness.

Unhealthy Obsession: Disproportionate preoccupation, and investing a significant amount of time and energy into someone who does not feel the same can be detrimental to your well-being. You may unintentionally neglect other relationships or essential aspects of your life while obsessing over unrequited love.

Frequently worrying about the relationship, and craving more connection but accepting the crumbs of affection your partner offers, diminishes your worth in the relationship.

Inability to Move On: Finding it hard to let move on from the person, even when it is clear they do not share the same feelings, shows a toxic attachment.

Emotional Dependency: Relying heavily on your partner for happiness or emotional fulfilment, rather than finding it within yourself contributes to a one-sided relationship. If you find yourself in a toxic one-sided love situation, prioritise your well-being by distancing yourself from the person and focusing on your growth and happiness.

How your relationship makes you feel is the most important red flag. In one-sided relationships, you’re likely to feel anxious, empty, lonely, misunderstood, insecure, or resentful. If you feel you are more committed to your relationship or investing more time, energy, or effort, do an honest assessment of the situation, look at your options, and decide if the relationship is worth saving or moving on with your life. A one-sided relationship isn't healthy for either partner. 

Relationships require give and take and compromise to achieve balance and function correctly. 

Everything mustn't be shared equally to create a balance in the relationship, but if you are striving harder to make your relationship work, you need to address the issues with open communication or seek professional guidance to determine the best course of action. A lack of communication and clarity about expectations hopes, and feelings sometimes foster one-sided relationships. Open communication also allows you to work through barriers or conflicts to grow stronger as a team. A loving relationship with shared values and commitment makes you feel safe, loved, confident, connected, understood, and secure. 

Sacrifice of Peace by Chike. G. Okeze (Reviewed by Ngozi Ebubedike)

Sacrifice of peace is set in a remote village in the eastern part of Nigeria. The book explores some myths and superstitions prevalent in our society, especially in some parts of Igbo land, where it is believed that a woman who experiences delay in getting married or giving birth is because she has a spiritual or marine husband. She would need to undergo some cleansing rites and sacrifice to free her from the gripe of a spirit husband. This brings to mind Elechi Amadi’s book, The Concubine.

When Arunma fails to give birth after many years of marriage, Ugonna, her husband and Ahurole, her mother urged her to undergo a sacrificial cleansing to break the covenant between her and her marine husband, to which she reluctantly agreed. After that, she gave birth to the much-awaited child, Amadi, but at the expense of her husband’s life.

Amadi, the protagonist of the story is known for his brave acts in his village of Umueze. After the death of his mother, he went to live with his maternal grandmother, Ahurole, at Umuagu village where he meet and falls in love with Udoka from Achala, a neighbouring village. Blinded by his love for Udoka, Amadi disregards the communal feud between the two communities and the inherent danger of being caught and killed by members of Achala community, to pursue the love of his life.

The book is replete with folklore as Ahurole, Amadi’s grandmother is a great storyteller. The scene of the children gathering around a bonfire to listen to the elderly woman is very nostalgic for people who grew up in the village and a reminiscence of tales by moonlight, the stories are told under the illuminating light of a full moon. The thrilling aspect of the folklore is the singing and the responding choruses by the children.

The author, Chike Okeze shows through his book, Sacrifice of Peace, that embracing peace is more beneficial to communities than war and animosities. And that love is stronger than hatred.

The chapters flow seamlessly in simple and understandable English spiced with Igbo words, idioms and proverbs. Chike Okeze showcases the cultural ambience of the Igbo tradition. 

The author deviated from the usual practice of using opening and closing quotes to mark direct speeches, however, it was not sustained as there are quotation marks in some of the direct speeches.

The book is a good read for both young and old. It gives an insight into some of our culture, traditional beliefs and rites. Also, the theme of love and romance were well crafted in the book.

Setting goals for your relationship.

It’s that time of the year when people make New Year's resolutions or plans for the year. In making your plans or resolutions for the year, don’t leave your relationship behind, it is the pivotal wheel of your life. If you’re happy and comfortable every other aspect of your life will align to give you peace of mind.

If you do not feel happy, secure, and valued, in your relationship this is the time to do something about it. This year, evaluate your relationship, set goals and make plans to overhaul and improve on it to get value.

Having a good relationship gives off a beautiful feeling. To maintain this feeling, you have to work with your partner to strengthen the bond of your relationship.

Also, if your relationship has lost its lustre and is in a stale mode, try to revamp and add more spark to your relationship To add spark to your relationship and ensure it doesn’t die out, all you have to do is set relationship goals.

What are relationship goals?

Relationship goals are the aims and inputs that a couple wants to achieve and experience in their relationship. It is also a set target a couple looks forward to achieving to build a stronger and healthier bond.

How to work on your relationship goals

Create time for your partner and make it a daily ritual to connect, communicate and share the details of your day with your partner. It’s important to sit together to share what each other went through for the day. Listening very carefully, and being present while your partner is talking, try to remove any form of distraction. Be free and open, talk your heart out.

* Though love is the backbone of every relationship, however, friendship plays just an important role in promoting a healthy relationship. Work on your friendship and have your partner’s back at all times. Becoming each other’s best friend promotes comfort when you two are having a conversation, joking around and cherishing each moment just like you would with your besties.

* Keep your sex interesting. Don’t let it be a dull and monotonous activity. Look for ways to spice things up and work hard to please each other in bed.

* Build more support channels for each other. When things go wrong, don’t engage in blame war, rather strive to have each other’s back no matter what and support each other in the darkest times.

*Do something new once a month. It’s never good to remain the same as monotony is terrible for relationships. Go the extra mile to keep things fast-paced and exciting in your relationship.

* Take extra care of how you look at least once a month by staying on top of your fashion game because the single biggest killer of any relationship is a drab, boring, and dull presence that your partner might lose interest in very quickly.

* Handle conflicts with patience. Remember that conflict is inevitable in a marital relationship. Instead of avoiding problems and conflicts, you should adopt a collaborative, problem-solving mindset to ensure you’re always ready to resolve conflicts when they arise.

Conclusion

No one is perfect, so there is nothing like a perfect relationship. A genuine love relationship is making a conscious decision to accommodate your partner, their weakness and vulnerabilities.

Every relationship is a work in progress and there is always room for improvement and growth, that's why you need to evaluate your relationship from time to time to improve on it.

If you’re not happy or satisfied with your relationship, you can work to improve it to get the happiness and satisfaction you want.