What are the ‘goods’ in a man that qualifies him as a good husband?
Does a good son make a good husband? Not always. And there is a difference between being a good man and a good husband.
For a man to be a good husband, he has to be intentional and knowledgeable about what it takes to build a peaceful and lovely home for his family.
Marriage is a beautiful relationship if you understand the tenets of handling your ‘marriageship’ and exhibiting qualities that will make you a good husband.
Qualities of a Good Husband?
An emotionally matured man.
It takes an emotionally intelligent man to confront conflict in marriage constructively while remaining resilient and supportive of his wife. The difference between a good husband and a bad one is the management of conflicts.
It takes a man who is emotionally mature, well-grounded and with a sense of balance to control his impulses and respond to challenging issues sensibly, rather than reacting impulsively.
A mature man should have the capacity to deal with the challenge, disappointment, and stress of marriage. That is why it is said that marriage is for men, not for boys.
A cheerful man:
Women love men who are witty and have a sense of humour. A husband who knows how to make his wife smile at the right time; is a good husband.
A man who comes home with a cheerful face despite having a bad day at work is a husband to hold on to. Women love men who could differentiate between the office environment and their homes. A good husband leaves the mean and grumpy face at the door and put up a cheerful disposition as he crosses the threshold of his home.
Try to enter your home as cheerful and light-hearted as you can, even if you had a bad day at the office or are physically exhausted after driving through traffic.
There’s nothing a good husband loves more than making his wife and family happy.
A Faithful man.
Loyalty and faithfulness are prime qualities of a good husband. A man who has a sense of honour and duty remembers the sacred vows he took on his wedding day and respect them.
A good husband knows that no matter how many beautiful women he meets in a day, there is only one woman who owns his heart, and that is his wife.
A good husband is loyal to his wife. He never let her feel she is not good enough for him. If you love your wife, be loyal to her. Never make her feel you are not true to her, else it will break her heart.
A Responsible man.
Biblically and culturally, it is the duty of a man to provide for his family. A good husband takes his marriage as his responsibility and is responsible for his financial obligations in the house. A good husband knows his family needs must always come before his own and, as such, use his money wisely.
Even if your wife works, it is an act of irresponsibility for a man to depend on his wife's salary. Good husbands prefer to have that as a backup rather than a major part of their family expenses.
A reliable man
Every woman wants a man she could rely on. A good husband is there for his wife when she needs him. He provides her reassurance when she stumbles or is feeling down. He is available for her when she needs a shoulder to lean on when life hits her.
A good husband is never too busy for his wife. When it matters, he drops everything to give her attention and affection.
When a husband does what he says; when a husband does not lie; when a husband is consistent with positive qualities, then he is dependable and a husband a woman can rely on.
A supportive man.
A good husband supports his wife in all stages of her life. He does not belittle her or hurt her ego. If she is a working woman, understand she has work pressures too. Understand when she needs to stay late at work and give her your support.
A good husband supports his wife by taking some weight off her shoulders and helping her with housework. Never leave your wife to handle the smooth running of the household alone, even if she is a stay at home mom.
A good husband is proud of his wife’s accomplishments and compliments her. A good husband supports his wife, even when the going gets tough, he always sees the good things in life and stays positive when faced with adversity to cheer the wife up. Support from a good husband challenges the wife to put in her best efforts and grow as a person.
If a man is supportive, values you as his equal and loves you just the way you are, you have a good husband or a good husband material.
A sensitivity man.
Be sensitive to the needs of your wife and try to meet them. Not just physical needs but emotional needs as well. Do not let your feelings toward life's changes affect your feelings toward your wife. A good husband needs to be sensitive to the requirements of his wife, treat her as an equal.
If your wife has a goal she wants to work towards, do everything that you can for her. Don’t laugh at her dreams because that will break her spirit.
You are the one man in the world she feels will understand her when the rest of the world thinks she is silly. Women appreciate men who make an effort to like things she does, either hobbies or passions.
As a good husband, stand up for your wife, make her believe she can do anything she wants to do. She will love you even more for that.
A respectful man:
A good husband speaks lovingly to his wife and refrains from using harsh words. A good husband never chooses to belittle, strike, humiliate or harm his wife in private or in public. A good husband watches what he says and thinks his thoughts through before speaking because he wouldn’t want to offend his wife in words or actions.
A good husband treats his wife with respect in front of others and at home. A good husband considers his wife’s opinion when making important family decisions.
A good husband never makes his wife feel silly for what she believes in, if you don’t believe in the same, respect her beliefs.
Understanding, accepting and respecting the fact your wife is a separate being, who has different ideas, dreams, and opinions, is important in a marriage.
A good husband respects his wife’s wishes and her needs. A good husband does not force his wife to give up on her dreams to follow his, but talks things out and sees what works for both of them.
A non-judgmental man.
A good husband never judges his wife for her flaws. A golden rule in life is that you need to walk in someone else’s shoes to understand what they are going through before you judge them. Marriage is part of life. The rule is applicable here as well.
Avoid judging every action or opinion of your wife. A good husband understands his wife differs from him and that her experiences and likings differ from his, too.
If your wife did something or said something you didn’t agree with, show understanding by applying the golden rule, rather than making her feel she does not measure up or has goofed big time. People have their flaws and faults. A good husband accepts the bad with the good of the woman he married.
A man with excellent communication skills: Communication is the key to a healthy marriage. A man who has healthy communication skills makes a good husband.
A man with excellent communication skills does not bottle up his feelings or emotions, it’s unhealthy and could lead to conflicts.
A man who shares his thoughts and feelings with his wife without reservation; a man who talks things out with his wife; a man who discusses difficult subjects with his wife; they can disagree or argue, and yet still come to some kind of resolution later, is a good husband.
A good husband is a good listener, too. He listens when his wife talks and listens to his wife's complaints and empathises with what's going on in her life. Good communication helps in building trust and strengthens marriage.
An honest man. Trust is paramount to a healthy marriage, and what builds trust in a relationship is honesty. A good husband is a man who is open to his wife at all times and does not keep her in the dark about what is going on in his life, business or workplace.
Being a trustworthy man is a proactive role. It requires a conscious effort, affirmed continuously by the decision and actions the man takes.
A good husband ensures he gains the trust of his wife. He never gives his wife a chance to doubt him or feel insecure. He never gives her any reason not to trust him. And he let her know she can trust him with anything.
An honest man makes a good husband. Telling your wife the truth, not hiding things from her and involving her in every aspect of your life will earn her trust and will ensure you gain respect and honesty right back from her.
A Loving and affectionate man.
Nothing trips a woman like when her man shows her love and affection as often as possible. Women are a sucker for affection. Every woman likes to be pampered. A good husband pampers and appreciates his wife and notices her at all times. And compliments her when she spots a new hairdo or dresses up nice and cute.
Most women love romance and like it when their husbands’ shower love on them, so remember to be romantic with your wife once in a while. A good husband knows how to pamper his wife and indulge her in the things she loves. It shows her how much you care about her and will win you some points with her, and she will indulge you in the things that you love as well.
A good husband is mindful. It's important for a man not to neglect his woman. A good husband never forgets the special days in his wife’s life, like birthday and wedding anniversary.
A Protective man:
A woman needs to feel secure around her man. A good husband makes his wife feel that when she is with him, no one can harm her. You don't need to be Mr Macho, but at least when you are with her others should not take advantage of her or insult her.
A good husband is protective and never abusive to his wife. A good husband doesn’t tolerate others disrespecting his wife. He never allows someone to insult or say mean jokes about his wife. He let people know he is always at his wife’s side, come what may.
An understanding and appreciative man. A good husband understands his wife has a life other than being his wife. She has her parents, friends and colleagues who are part of her life too. She may have hobbies or passions outside you. Don’t expect her undivided attention. Don’t stop her if she wants to go out and hang out with her friends sometimes, engage in a hobby or spend some time with her parents.
A good husband understands everything about his wife- her thoughts, ambitions, opinions, her friends, her job. He doesn’t make her feel bad about her life circumstances, and he appreciates the person she is and the choices she has made.
As a good husband, be warm, kind, positive, and understanding to everyone around you, and appreciate your wife.
A selfless and kind man
Kindness in a man is a very appealing quality to women. It assures a woman that the man will never hurt her and will always do what is best for her and the family.
Kindness towards others makes a wife proud of her husband enough to brag about it to all her friends. Nobody likes an arrogant man. A good husband is pleasant and kind to friends and family.
A good husband is up and doing and helps his wife with housework. As her husband, your wife will appreciate it so much if you were more active in the home, cleaning up after yourself and helping out with some chores.
Just because your wife doesn’t work doesn’t mean her work at home is less strenuous. She might have struggled with children and housework all day.
A sexually capable man:
Sexual intimacy is essential to marriage. Good sex helps to strengthen your emotional and physical attraction to your wife. A good husband satisfies his wife in bed and is faithful to her. Good sex plays a vital role in a satisfying and healthy relationship. Sexual frustration makes a nagging wife and can cause conflict at home.
A good husband is not just passionate when it comes to the physical aspect of marriage, but he is also passionate about small things that concern his wife and family.
A compassionate man.
A man who can feel for others is very appealing to women, so be a compassionate man and show you care. It can be towards your wife and others as well. The more compassion you show, the more of a hero you will be to your wife.
Your marriage vows, in sickness and health, should not be taken lightly. A good husband would do anything to look after his wife in sickness and in health and do his best to look after his wife’s needs.
A Good Team Player
A good husband is also a team player. As a husband, you must realise you and your wife are a team. Being a good team player is vital in a marriage. It shouldn’t always be about you, you need to think about your wife as well.
A good husband never undermines the decisions of his wife in front of the children or his relatives. If she errs, he talks to her in private. Showing people that the two of you are a team will prevent them from disrespecting your wife or taking advantage of her.
