Tuesday, 7 April 2015

10 Reasons this generation is finding it hard to be in love.

Ever wonder what our GENERATION will be known for in the decades to come? I ponder the question regularly. There are so many great things we could be remembered for, but if history has taught us anything, it’s the negative that tends to last the test of time, not the positive. My greatest worry is our generation will be looked at as the generation that gave up on love. We date for the sake of dating. The generation that forgot how to love — which is ridiculous. Most people have never had a good understanding of love, just a poor interpretation of it. Generation-Y seems to be the first generation moving away from conventional takes on romantic, loving relationships. The only question that remains is whether we’ll be remembered for being the first generation to accept a more logical and rational take on love or the generation that gave up on it altogether. I guess you’ll be the one to decide.

1. WE CARE MORE ABOUT INSTANT GRATIFICATION THAN WE DO ANYTHING ELSE. The most common trend amongst Generation-Yers is our need for instant gratification. We grew up and continue to thrive in a culture that allows us instant access to just about anything. If we want food, we have it delivered with the click of a few buttons or we walk a block or two and grab dinner. If we are bored, we have endless distractions in the form of phone apps. If we need directions or a question answered, it only takes us a couple of seconds. Such convenience is entirely a modern-day perk — previous generations never   experienced anything even remotely close to it. The problem is instant gratification is addicting and often becomes a habit, a habit that tends to seep into our love lives. Love isn’t meant to be experienced in an instance, but in a lifetime. 

2. WE’VE BUILT A CULTURE DRIVEN BY DRUGS AND BOOZE. This goes hand in hand with our culture’s need for instant gratification. Drugs and booze are the most common form of self-medication. When we feel sad or unhappy, we go out for drinks. When we’re stressed or unable to handle our lives, we may turn to more intense substances. of course, not everyone drinks alcohol and/or does drugs, but it is a trend among our generation. Drugs and alcohol often end up being love’s worst enemy. These substances give us the  illusion of an alternate reality — a reality in which our emotions are heightened, and the love we experience becomes exponentially intense. Unfortunately, all this does is confuse us, making us believe love is little more than the feelings we experience. Nothing could be further from the truth. 

3. WE SLEEP AROUND — A LOT. Some less than others, but most individuals have multiple partners every year. Don’t get me wrong, I like sex just as much as the next guy, but sleeping around ends up leaving us feeling empty. It starts out feeling exciting and gratifying, but ends up making us feel even more alone. Worse yet, it makes finding someone to love infinitely more difficult. You’re wasting your time with people who mean nothing to you and, to top it all off, you are likely to turn sex into a sport. When that becomes the case, good luck trying to make love. Good luck enjoying sex when sex is no longer a special or unique experience, but just another trivial evening.

 4. WE’RE BECOMING EVEN MORE EGOCENTRIC. Every individual in the world is egocentric; we all think about our needs and ourselves first and foremost. Whether this is good or bad doesn’t really matter; the world is the way it is. It’s part of human nature. The problem arises when our egocentricity overtakes our ability to feel empathy. As human beings, we have no choice but to live and function within society, within communities of different sizes. Relationships are really nothing more than granular communities. When we focus on only ourselves, our needs, our wants and desires, the needs of the others in our community get overlooked. When this happens in a relationship, it all begins to fall apart.

5. WE DATE FOR THE SAKE OF DATING. It’s become a sport — a favorite pastime among Millennials. We date because we believe we’re supposed to date. We’re supposed to find someone to fall in love with and spend our lives with, and we are under the impression that the best way to go about it is to date as often as possible. This backwards logic brings about countless horrible relationships THAT never ought to have been in the first place. Every time you date someone who isn’t right for you, you’re giving up your chance to meet someone who is. Same goes for the rest of the world.

 6. WE AREN’T FANS OF MAKING COMPROMISES. We like to have things our way, always. Why wouldn’t we? If we can have it our way, why would we settle for anything less? This logic makes sense until we find ourselves in a relationship. When we’re a part of a relationship, we are only a piece of a greater whole. What we want and need is not nearly as important as what the relationship needs. And what the relationship often needs is for you to compromise. So you’re left with a dilemma, which is fine, as long as you accept that compromises need to be made. Once we no longer accept that as a necessity, we will lose the ability to create a loving relationship. 

7. WE BELIEVE IN FAIRY TALE ENDINGS. What was our favorite thing to watch growing up? Most people our age will say Disney. We grew up on Disney movies and learned all about love through the stories they told — or at least I did. The problem is such movies are incredibly inaccurate and often end up doing more harm than good. They create impossible expectations — expectations that always leave us disappointed in the end, not to mention confused. How could you not question your love for someone when your story doesn’t line up with what you believe defines a happily ever after? 

8. WE’VE BEEN FOOLED INTO BELIEVING PERFECTION IS ATTAINABLE. It’s not. Never has been, never will be, and yet, we are all looking for that perfect individual. We are all looking to become that perfect individual. Sadly, we’re all going to fail, and it’s going to suck. No matter how unrealistic our expectations are, the disappointment we feel when they aren’t achieved is very real. The grass always seems greener on the other side. But who the hell told you to look for greener grass? 

9. WE’RE GOAL DRIVEN, BUT OFTEN FORGET TO INCLUDE OUR PARTNERS IN THE MIX. I love the fact that our generation is really the first generation to put the focus on the individual, allowing for personal growth and development. I’m proud our generation is the first generation that believes working for ourselves is better than working for someone else. Having dreams and setting goals are both incredibly important; however, what’s more important is setting the right goals. We need to understand the difference between the things and individuals in our life who hold value and those that do not. Sadly, this is an area in which our generation is greatly lacking. Most of us put off finding someone to love until after we get the rest of our life together. Not sure why no one realizes finding a partner is the most important piece of the puzzle. 

10. MOST OF US ARE REALLY BAD AT LOVING. Love is confusing. It has layers and is mutable, changing over time and changing with each new partner we let into our lives. Love is so incredibly complex that most people simply haven’t been able to get a grasp of it. It’s nothing to be ashamed of, but it is reason to worry. The real question is: Are we getting better or worse at loving? That’s a question I’m not able to answer, but I fear it maybe the latter. Of course, each individual is different in his or her understanding, but most people seem to be incredibly lost. The issue is if we don’t come to understand love better — its purpose, its boundaries and its shortcomings — we will never be happy. That’s nothing short of fact. – Paul


Sunday, 5 April 2015

Rihanna, First Black Woman to Be Face of Dior

The Barbadian artist has been roped in by the luxury French fashion brand making her the first black woman to be a face of Dior.

Shot in Versailles, France, by Steven Klein, the film and print campaign is scheduled to run this spring. And just like all the previous models and stars for the Secret Garden series, Riri too will be seen dressed in gorgeous Dior gowns while running around the palace of Versailles. Before the official release of the campaign, internet has been buzzing with images of Rihanna dressed in a sparkly silver sequin dress at the Palace of Versailles’ Hall of Mirrors.

The Rude Boy singer effortlessly transforms in to the Dior Girl and joins the league of the current Dior stars like Jennifer Lawrence, Marion Cotillard and Natalie Portman. While models including Daria Strokus, Melissa Stasiuk and Xiao Wen Ju have been starred in Dior’s previous Secret Garden films.

7 Overnight Beauty Treatments to Try Tonight

They work while you sleep and you wake up looking and feeling beautiful. What more could a girl ask for? If you’ve never done overnight beauty treatments, now is definitely the time to give it a try.

These are what you need for your overnight beauty treatments:

1. Petroleum Jelly

Also known as Vaseline, petroleum jelly is a great option for many overnight beauty treatments. Slather it on your dry feet, then wear a pair of socks to bed. While you sleep, the petroleum jelly soaks in, softening your soles and heels. You can also put Vaseline on dry lips, cheeks and eyelids while you sleep. You’ll wake up softer and more hydrated, and there’s nothing better than that!

2. Mineral Powder

According to some beauty experts, dusting on a thin layer of mineral powder before you hit the hay is a good way to control irritation. It helps reduce inflammation and redness and can help soothe your skin. Yes, you should definitely remove your make-up before #bed, but most versions of mineral powder won’t clog your pores so you’re safe if you use it to keep your skin soothed and happy.

3. Vitamin a Creams

Slathering on a cream with vitamin A before you go to bed does wonders for wrinkles on your face. It works for fine lines and new wrinkles and it does its magic while you slumber away. For deeper wrinkles, you might need a stronger product. Try an over the counter vitamin A cream and see what happens.

4. Baking Soda

That simple box of baking soda hanging out in your cabinet are perfect for whitening teeth while you sleep. Simply brush your teeth as usual, then brush again with a paste made of water and baking soda. Go to sleep and wake up to whiter teeth in just a few weeks. You want to do this treatment at night because you won’t be tempted to eat or drink until morning, which ensures that the #baking soda has an optimal chance to do its job.

5. Humidifier

This beauty treatment won’t even require special products or any work at all. Simply turn a humidifier on while you snooze and it will fill the air with moisture, which fights dryness on your skin and in your hair. Hydrated skin and #hair is beautiful so you definitely want to be sure you keep yours full of moisture.

6. Castor Oil

It only takes a couple seconds to slather some castor oil on your eyelashes. But the payoff is wonderful. That’s because #castor oil can help you grow longer and fuller eyelashes. Don’t put on so much that you get it in your #eyes, but enough to do the job. You should be able to feel it when you touch your eyelashes.

7. Hair Mask

Maybe you tend to shower in the morning. If you consider trying a night shower, you can apply a hair mask that works while you sleep. It will create fuller, shinier strands that are free of damage and dryness. You can pick one up at any drug store and it’s really easy to rub it in while you wash up for the day.

Did you find an overnight beauty treatment you’re dying to try? I hope it works out really well for you. In the meantime, sweet dreams!

Sinful Desire- A novel

Chapter 1 Vetty Nwadialor pulled up with a screech behind her office staff bus at Yaba Market garage. Taking a deep breath to quell t...