Romantic love has a hidden desire and is possessive. With time, feelings such as jealousy, impatience, misunderstanding, lust, discord, and strife rock the relationship. Because physical qualities and desires are the foundation, it topples. When the chemistry and attraction dry up, love shrinks, and we notice and point out negative things and hold grudges." - Ngozi Ebubedike. Building Intimacy.
Picking up this book written for Love, I have often asked myself a thousand and one questions as to know if I should read the book or just let it be because it is for love/lovers which I can only see myself out of the entire story of love/loving to an extent.
Ngozi's insights on love and intimacy expanded my understanding of what love should be. Each chapter prompts introspection and provides answers that come like a powerful gust of wind.
How else should a work of art hold you bound, I leave such a question from this wonderful book for you to answer after reading it.
Starting from the first chapter to the last, Ngozi held her readers with care and helped them walk through the lanes and lens of a retrospective moment to know from where they have fallen from this emotion called love/loving.
I - intentionally
N - nurture
T - traits
I - inclined to
M - motivate
A - affectionate
C - comradeship
Y - your partner
This is her definition of intimacy and if you truly go through it, you will believe me that many of us are nowhere to be found in this thing called love/loving.
I think I should be using "Loving", instead of love.
From its forward, there was this scenario that was created to depict what most of us call intimacy or love in short.
'The sales girl gave us a different taste of each with disposable plastic mini cups to help us choose. We sipped, trashed the cup, and waited to sample the next one. That is how modern-day relationships have reduced the integrity of love.'
Pictures upon pictures of what deplorable condition our human world has left love to and the aftermath of this negative impact of everyone tasting and not for the sake of maintenance but 'since it is plenty in the market, let me see the next one' mindset is wracking havocs already.
"in today's world, genuine love is in short supply, and intimacy is a lesser travelled route. People no longer have long-term plans for relationships. They are after the here-and-now thrills."
For me, this is a must-come-back-to-read book of all time and I will be glad to recommend it to you if you have anything to do with finding and maintaining an intimate relationship with anyone. Add this book to your shelf and thank me later.
Finally, in her exact words, "We put much stock in finding a partner for a relationship. But after a short while, we forget why we are in a relationship and discard all the show of care and affection exhibited at the beginning."
Go get your copy of this book today and find out more than I can write here.
https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0CD125J4L
No comments:
Post a Comment