JUST LAUGH AND GO... (Poem by Dr. Dream)

 

In a world of worries, let laughter flow,

A poem to remind you, just laugh and go.

For life's too short to dwell on the strife,

Embrace the joy, let laughter be rife.

When troubles weigh heavy upon your soul,

Find solace in laughter, it consoles.

With every chuckle, worries fade.

A moment of bliss, a serenade.

Let laughter be your guiding light,

A remedy to conquer the darkest night.

For in its embrace, you'll find release,

A balm for the heart, a sense of peace.

Laugh at the absurdities life presents,

The silly moments, the happy accidents.

For laughter is a language we all understand,

A universal bond, a gift so grand.

So let your laughter echo far and wide,

A symphony of joy, a heartfelt stride.

In every giggle, find a reason to grow,

In every smile, let your spirit glow.

So, my friend, on this journey we tread,

Remember, laugh, and shed your worries.

For life's too precious to take it slow,

Embrace laughter. Just laugh and go.

By Dr Dream... literature review...

Building Friendship In Marriage.

Just like any friendship and relationship, marriage needs nourishment to grow. Integrating friendship in marriage requires practice and intentionality. If you are not intentional about it, it will not just happen.

Relationship expert John Gottman, a professor at the University of Washington, says, “Happy marriages are based on a deep friendship.”  Gottman’s research shows that a high-quality friendship in a marriage is an important predictor of romantic and physical satisfaction.

Also, Paul Coleman, Psy.D., author of The 30 Secrets of Happily Married Couples, says, “Friendship is a form of intimacy. It represents a sharing, an openness, a willingness to be vulnerable. It requires a degree of trust. Friends show caring to one another by their availability, their thoughtfulness.”

Building and nurturing friendships strengthen a marriage because friendship establishes emotional and physical intimacy in marriage. Friendship helps married couples feel safe and more open with one another without worrying about being judged or feeling insecure. 

Nurturing and building friendships in marriage requires practice, time and effort. Work hard to establish a great friendship and become your spouse's best friend in your marriage. Friendship promotes healthy, happy, and lasting marriages.

Ways to foster and build friendship in your marriage:

Effective Communication:

Open and honest communication is the foundation of any strong friendship. Endeavour to actively listen to your partner and respectfully express your thoughts and feelings.

Talk and share your everyday life and experiences, highs and lows, to create a sense of connection. It helps to build emotional intimacy.

Frequently talk with your partner. Silence in marriage builds resentment, but communication can resolve this problem. Communicate over everything – your friends, relatives, workmates, goals, children, money, responsibilities, etc. 

Excellent communication is a key to building a good friendship with your spouse. Marriages that speak honestly about challenging matters, build stronger connections.

Also, communication helps with conflict resolution. If you want friendship and romance to grow in your marriage, you must communicate to resolve your conflicts.

Spend Quality Time Together:

Dedicate time to be with your spouse without distractions. This could be a night date, a weekend getaway, or even simple activities like cooking together or walking.

The fact that you make time out of your busy schedule to spend time with your partner shows you value them and care for their happiness. Take some time every day when you can reconnect with one another. If it is at the end of a busy day, find out how your partner spent the day. 

Also, as you begin your day, share your plans. Praying together is a shared activity that keeps couples together. 

Shared Interests:

Find common interests. Have fun with one another. Laugh together. Make lasting memories through shared activities. Engaging in activities you both enjoy strengthens your bond and creates shared memories.

Do and try new things together. Cultivate shared hobbies or interests. Finding common ground can bring you closer and provide opportunities for bonding.

Explore each other’s interests. Intentionally study the things that interest your husband or wife and enthusiastically join them, even if they do not interest you. It may take some sacrifice, but the results are worth it because they demonstrate a willingness to invest in your relationship. 

Establish daily habits,  like praying together, cooking, walking or working out.

Shared interests and values are keys to building a friendship with your spouse.

Support Each Other:

Be supportive during good moments and times of challenges. Offer encouragement and celebrate each other's successes.

During tough times, provide a listening ear and be a source of comfort. Knowing that your partner has your back fosters a deep sense of trust and friendship.

Encourage each other. Help one another excel. Also, nudge or boot each other along.

Laughter and Playfulness:

What fun things do you do together regularly that would encourage friendship with your spouse? Do you make the time to be together or have your other priorities pushed your spouse to the bottom of the list of important things in your life? Making your spouse feel like a top priority and engaging in an activity together are sure ways to build friendship into your marriage. 

Maintain a sense of humour in your relationship. Laughter can lighten the mood and strengthen your connection. Laughter and fun are keys to building a friendship with your spouse.   

Incorporate playfulness into your interactions. Play games, tease each other affectionately, and don't take yourselves too seriously.

Make fun of one another as you remember some sweet memories to enhance the bond. Be humorous with no malice or offence. It is a great way to strengthen companionship in your marriage.

Respect and Empathy:

Treat your partner with respect. Understand and appreciate their perspective, even if you don't always agree.

Practice empathy by trying to understand and validate your partner's feelings. It creates a safe space for open communication.

Celebrate each other’s differences, accept and allow each other to be themselves without judgment.

Promote openness and forgiveness in your relationship. It helps build trust between you and your partner. Trust gives you the freedom to share your challenges and achievements with your spouse. Trust is the foundation of friendship in marriage.

Shared Goals and Values:

Identify common goals and values. It could include career aspirations, family planning, or personal growth. Let it be something you both enjoy because if you aren’t excited about the activity, you won’t continue. Working together toward shared objectives can deepen your connection and create a sense of unity and friendship.

Continual Growth:

Set and work towards life goals with one another. Dream together. Plan together.

Encourage each other's personal development. Support your partner's goals and aspirations, and take an interest in their growth.

As individuals evolve, adapt and grow together as a couple. Embrace change and see it as an opportunity for mutual development.

Express Gratitude:

Respect each other and treat one another equally. Cheer on each other’s successes. Lean on one another in times of need. Appreciate your spouse. Be considerate of each other. Be forgiving of one another- don’t hold grudges.

Regularly express gratitude for the positive aspects of your partner and your relationship. Acknowledge the little things that make your connection special.

 Appreciate Each Other:

You feel appreciated when your spouse makes it a habit to consult you before making any major decision. It means your opinion counts in their lives. Besides, it gives you a sense of responsibility in case of any plan failure.

Feeling appreciated and valued enhances friendship within a marriage.

Marital success is the work of two friends who have unconditional love for one another and are willing to sacrifice for their marriage. Being there for each other, being in constant touch, enjoying the relationship, being honest, making each other a part of one’s future, and making them a priority, form a strong bond of friendship with a spouse. 

Building friendship in a marriage is an ongoing process which requires both partners' effort. By consistently investing time, energy, and emotional support into your relationship, you are creating a strong foundation of friendship that will contribute to the long-term success of your marriage. Friends share the joys and sorrows of life. Having your spouse as your best friend is a great benefit to your marriage. 

Friendship is one of the characteristics of a happy and lasting marriage, as well as the foundation of a healthy marriage. Couples who are genuinely friends look forward to spending time together. Their activities and interests are enhanced because their spouse is their favourite person who shares life experiences with them.

The friendship between a couple can make the bonds of marriage stronger. They can share things with each other while feeling no fear of judgment from their partner. Their relationship will flourish because of this and grow stronger over time.

Friendship in marriage is cultivated and nurtured through years of married life. If you feel emotionally and physically apart, you can still nurture your friendship to desired levels. 

The benefits of cultivating friendship in marriage?

1. Increased marital satisfaction

Research shows that having your partner as a great friend in marriage significantly increases marital satisfaction.

The benefits of marital friendship are long-term and last well into the mature years.

2. Improved intimate communication.

Being a good listener promotes intimacy in relationships helps build clarity and avoids marital conflicts.

3. Increased emotional and physical intimacy.

You build intimacy through the sharing of personal information.

You achieve intimacy when you open up to the other person and let them into your life.

The key to achieving intimacy is trust– you must be comfortable with the other person to share intimate information.

Intimate relationships are more fulfilling when built upon a strong friendship. Great relationships enhance physical connection and emotional intimacy.

4. Increased forgiveness for your mistakes.

Being mindful of your manners can help to promote peace in your relationship.

As humans, making mistakes is in our DNA. The important thing is to apologise and make amends sincerely when you make mistakes. It shows you’re taking responsibility for your actions and are willing to change.

Have a  forgiving heart to accept apologies from your spouse in your relationship.

5. Increased trust in your marriage.

Building a friendship with your partner helps to build trust and respect.

Friendships in marriages help couples discover each other’s personality and interests, fostering a strong connection. It also allows spouses to weather their difficult seasons together.

You build a healthy marriage on mutual trust and respect. Couples who cultivate these qualities in their relationship have a better chance for happiness and longevity.

7 ways to build a healthy relationship

 Building a healthy relationship requires effort and communication from both partners. Being in a relationship is not always an all-around positive, happy feeling. It also has many adverse psychological effects, especially when you’re in the wrong relationship.

However, a relationship can also have a positive and beautiful side. When you're in a healthy relationship, it brings about a unique feeling that adds value to your existence and plays a central role in your search for happiness.

Here are some tips to help you build a strong, healthy relationship:

1. Communication: 

Open and honest communication is key to building a healthy relationship. Be willing to share your thoughts, feelings, and concerns with your partner, and encourage them to do the same. Communication should be respectful, non-judgmental, and focused on finding solutions to problems.

2. Trust: 

Trust is a crucial component of any healthy relationship. Trust your partner, and be trustworthy in return. Keep your promises, be reliable, and avoid engaging in behaviours that could damage the trust you've built.

3. Respect: 

Treat your partner with respect, even when you disagree. Respect their opinions, feelings, and boundaries, and expect the same in return.

4. Compromise: 

Relationships require compromise. Be willing to give and take, and work together to find solutions that benefit both of you.

5. Quality time: 

Spend quality time together, doing things you both enjoy. Make time for each other, and prioritize your relationship.

6. Independence: 

While spending time together is important, it's also important to maintain your own interests, hobbies, and friendships. Encourage your partner to do the same.

7. Forgiveness: 

No one is perfect, and mistakes will happen. Be willing to forgive your partner when they make a mistake, and ask for forgiveness when you make one.

Remember, building a healthy relationship takes time, effort, and commitment from both partners. By prioritising communication, trust, respect, compromise, quality time, independence, and forgiveness, you can build a strong, healthy relationship that lasts.

Just Overwhelm Yourself (J.O.Y)

“Joy in one’s heart and some laughter on one’s lips is a sign that the person down deep has a pretty good grasp of life.” — Hugh Sidey

One weekend I was out with a friend for a point-and-kill fish and a drink at an open bar. As we took our seats, I noticed a young, bearded and handsome guy sitting alone at a table beside us. Fela’s music was blasting on the speaker and the guy was singing along. 

My attention kept going to him not because he was sitting and drinking alone. NO. My instinct told me the guy was trying hard to make himself happy. His actions and the animated smile were obvious signs of inner distress. 

He sang along with whatever music was on, shook his body, threw his hands in the air and sometimes drummed on the table while sipping his drink. I noticed only a bottle of beer on his table but when he called the waitress twice for more drinks, I looked under the table and saw about five empty bottles. I became more convinced the guy was not only chasing his happiness but drinking away his sorrow. And No, he wasn’t drunk just dunking whatever was ailing his heart with alcohol.

Inwardly I lauded his actions, instead of pining away at home, he came out in the open to drink and catch some fun, alone.  When you feel overwhelmed by circumstances beyond your control. Get up and get out, if you don’t drink or have the money for a bottle of drink, talk a walk around your neighbourhood.

Do whatever will make you happy. Chase happiness, you’re entitled to it but not at someone’s else expense. Don’t wait for someone to make you happy, and don’t put the key to your happiness in someone’s hand, you will be disappointed.

Cultivate the spirit of joy in your heart. Only when your Joy is full and running over does happiness flourish. Joy is internal, happiness is external and often depends on happenstance, but Joy is a state of being that flows from inside you.

Don’t let anyone or circumstance steal your happiness or extinguish your Joy. There’s always a reason to cry, grieve or get angry when provoked, however, it’s only for a season. Don't stretch it.

In this new year, Just Overwhelm Yourself (J.O.Y) with happiness, laughter, and love.

Infuse laughter into your life. If you find no reason to laugh, fake it until you learn to laugh without a reason. Also, you can count your blessings. Considering the good things in your life will give you a reason to smile, and laugh. A peal of undiluted laughter is a sign of unbridled joy in the heart.

So, Laugh Out Loud!!!

Start the year with a sound of laughter. Let it bang and resonate around you.

Laugh at your stupidity

Laugh at your quirk

Laugh through your dreadful days

Laugh away your sorrow.

Laugh at situations rather than bemoan them.

Laugh at your own mistakes and foibles.

Laugh at the absurdity of life.

Look for the humour in an unpleasant situation, and laugh.