Don’t settle for a relationship

If you want a happy, healthy relationship, then don’t settle for anyone who doesn’t meet your needs, otherwise, in the long run, you will have regrets.

You know what you want and the standard you want from a potential mate. The best thing you can do for yourself is not to lower your standard or settle for just anyone because you want to be in a relationship. Don’t put up with anyone that does not align with your values. Have a strong sense of self. No settling into a relationship with just anybody.

Until you are confident the man admires and cares for you as a person not just your body, don’t give your heart to him. And also, until you feel the man is what you want and he fits into the type of person you desire for a relationship. He is a compatible partner.

It is heart-wrenching to note that most women don’t even know what they want in a partner and so they settle for whoever comes around with a friendship proposal, only to realise too late they have made a mistake.

Any woman with a vision should know the kind of man who aligns with her vision and value in life. Without a vision, a woman can blindly settle for any man because she doesn’t know what she wants. If a woman doesn’t know where she is heading in life, she will likely end up in the wrong place with the wrong man.

Why am I being particular about women? Because it takes a woman’s consent for a relationship/marriage to commence. Without a woman saying yes to a man’s proposal or friendship overture, nothing happens between them.

So, sis, before you jump into that relationship before you say yes to his proposal, shine your eyes and search your heart well and make sure he is who you want. And not someone you just want to settle down with because of pressure from your family, friends and society.

This is what my friend, Christine Vidal-Nwachuku of Courtship Academy wrote on this issue:

“A few years back, my husband accompanied me to a departmental store to help select clothes for myself.

After picking up a few dresses on display, I entered the fitting room. 

As I wore each, I stepped out and did some catwalks and turnarounds for my husband.

Thumbs up for some, thumbs down for others.

I ended up not picking some that he gave the thumbs up. Why?

They were lovely on display, and when I wore them, but they were not my type.

I knew I would be flushing our hard-earned Dolapo down the drain by picking them because I wouldn’t wear them. 

They were not me. 

It’s for this same reason I tell singles, no one can select a spouse for them.

The person may look nice but may not gel with who you are.

Marriage is great when you’re with the right person that suits you.

Consider these scenarios.

Gbenga works in an oil company and has a child outside wedlock. Your family approves of him but deep down you know you don't want to care for a child that's not yours. 

Sis, just waka instead of putting this child at risk of improper care and yourself at loggerhead with potential hubby, Gbenga.

Bros, you are with this girl whose father has all the right connections that can turn your life around at the snap of the fingers. 

She will look good on your CV of life.

But you're a traditionalist who believes a woman's place is in the kitchen, and this babe doesn't know where to turn on the stove.

Bros, she no bi ya type, just waka. No use ya hand pluck kata-kata come enta ya house.

Leave her for the man who doesn’t care about who cooks and when.

Sis, you want to pursue your career and you're determined there's nothing that will stop you from pursuing a doctorate. 

At 35, you feel you are getting on in years and should settle down. 

Luckily, Duza has come to your rescue.

But he always has negative views whenever discussions or TV programs involving successful women who are excelling in their careers or businesses come up. 

Yes, it's important to acquire MRS. title but more so to embark on this life journey with someone who will not smother your career plans. 

He is not your type, put him back on the ‘rack’ for the lady who is ready not to pursue books and career upandan.

Just take a walk. Don't settle for him.

Joseph is a correct guy, except that he has trust and anger issues. 

Any ding from message dropping in your phone, he reaches for it. 

If you no gree na serious Mohammed Ali style you go receive. See ehn, no just think dis one, comot shoe, run for ya life. 

Except you are the type that likes to receive such packaged gifts, then he will be a perfect fit. 

Of course, he is such a handsome guy. Some abusers are not ugly, dey fine d.i.e.

You think say Peter planned for Osinachi to dye? 

Mba! 

Na wrong action for wrong place dey cause am and sorry no fit correct dis own o.

Sis, Anyida is ready to slide the ring on your finger but you must prove your fertility by getting pregnant first.

You want to abstain till marriage but there is pressure for you to get married. Your family sees nothing wrong with pregnancy before marriage.

Ahn ah! That means he's not your type naa.

If you don't know yourself, it will be hard to choose a spouse that brings that bliss you desire in marriage.

That's how you will take your hand scoop sand and pour on your face.

Anyone that's not your type, return to 'rack.'

This is why we created Module 4 at our Online Courtship Academy to show you How Knowing Yourself Guides You During Courtship.

Even if you have entered courtship, which is like the fitting room in my story, if you discover the person is not your type, return to ‘rack.’

 In this case, serve hot breakfast. 

If not, be ready to change your name to ‘Endurance’ after marriage.”

Your No-Nonsense Coach.

#onlinecourtship Academy.