Toxic relationship

 

The lockdown because of COVID-19 pandemic also had a devastating effect on relationships. The sudden inactivities and depression brought out the beast in some people and many found themselves in a toxic relationship.

Probably, the union wasn't warm and cosy any more. There had been cracks and rumbles which the couple had tried to hide from family and friends' view.

Every relationship experiences difficulties, But when things start to fall apart when your partner stops giving you your due respect when trust is no longer there, or you feel entrapped or suffocated, then the relationship may have turned into a toxic one.

Toxic relationships, also called abusive relationships, is about an abuser and the one abused. Also, toxic relationships give rise to domestic violence which has led to the death of so many.

However, not all toxic relationships are physically violent, there is verbal and psychological abuse as well. No matter the form of the abuse, it erodes the victim’s self-esteem and makes the victim feel a sense of worthlessness in the relationship. While women are more commonly subjected to physical abuse, men suffer more of verbal and emotional abuse from their partners.

What is a toxic relationship?

 A toxic relationship is a relationship in which one partner exhibits dysfunctional or abusive behaviours that are emotionally, physically or mentally harmful to the other partner.

These abusive behaviours arise out of a feeling of insecurity or character traits such as self-centeredness, selfishness, irresponsibility, domineering attitudes. Being hot-tempered or ill-tempered and being excessively jealous and possessive.

A toxic person is capable of physical violence such as punching, yelling, slapping, beating, kicking, biting and even strangling when the person is out of control.

The person is equally prone to sexual violence where the partner is forced into a frequent sex act that is not pleasurable but a brutal claiming of marital rights. And in some cases, forced to perform degrading sexual acts.

The signs of a toxic relationship

• Your partner has an unpredictable temper, gets annoyed or angry easily. This makes you fearful and dreadful of your partner much of the time that you walk on eggshells around the person.
• Your partner humiliates, criticises, puts you down and embarrasses you before friends or family members.
• Your partner sees you as property or a sex object, rather than as a person of value and deserving of respect.
• Your partner is a complete control freak who wants to control where you go, what you do or who you talk to.
• Your partner nit-picks or finds fault in anything you do or say most of the time.
• Your partner turns every situation or mistake, no matter how trivial, into a fight.
• Your partner is always sarcastic and disrespectful towards you.

Toxic relationship often starts from threats and verbal abuses and escalates to physical violence and even murder sometimes. While physical injury may be the most obvious signs, the emotional and psychological consequences can lead to serious debilitating health issues. The uses of demeaning statements, innuendos, and sarcastic words are psychologically unhealthy,

A toxic partner will belittle you in public, in front of your friends or family. They use fear, control, manipulation and intimidation to wear you down to leave if they want you out of the relationship or they use it to keep you under their thumb.

People endure toxic relationships for many reasons— low self-esteem, for the sake of the children, or because of what people will say. The fear of starting afresh. Some tolerate it with the false hope that there will be a miraculous change in the partner’s behaviour. And so, they remain in a psychologically unhealthy and toxic relationship. 

A toxic relationship is not a safe and secure relationship. To say a toxic relationship is damaging is an understatement. Besides, no one deserves to be abused, humiliated or bullied by another human being.

Stop living in denial and see the relationship for what it really is. Decide to walk away from a partner’s relentless toxicity, bully and a vicious circle of suffering. It’s best to get out of a toxic relationship and give your life a fresh start.

It is better to walk out than be carried out of that relationship. You deserve better, a good life and the freedom to be you.