Showing posts with label Author. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Author. Show all posts

Tuesday 14 March 2023

Chike Okeze (Author)

Chike Okeze is a young, vibrant Nigerian writer and author who uses his gift of storytelling to craft books that resonate with readers, books that highlight the rich cultural heritage of his people. In this interview, Chike talks about his journey as a writer, and the challenges he has encountered so far in his quest to make a name for himself in the community of writers.

Q: Tell us about yourself

Chike: Thank you, Mrs Ngozi. It’s indeed an honour to be on this platform to talk about myself and my writing career.

My name is Chike Godwin Okeze, an author, a Pastor and an easygoing and imaginative person.

I was born and brought up in Lagos Nigeria but hail from Ibusa, in Oshimili North, Delta State. I am the second child in a family of six; five boys and a girl, all grown ups now.

I have a qualification in Business administration and management, from Lagos state Polytechnic and I am an Associate Member Charted Institute of Business Administration (ACIA). I belong to the Literary Authors Cooperative, Lagos, of which I am a founding member. 

Q: What inspired you to become a writer?

Chike: I have the gift of storytelling. As a child, I enjoyed folk tales. My mum was a good storyteller and never hesitated to tell my siblings and me bedtime stories. Let’s say I inherited the gift from her. Growing up I often find it easy to make up stories for my peers. 

As a child, I was artistic and good at creating art. In primary school, I made money from my classmates through comic illustrations. But my interest in creative writing began in secondary school when I was introduced to literature as one of my subjects. Poetry was my first love of the entire literary genre. I wrote several poetries, mainly satire, with themes that centred on politics, war, nature and love. 

My interest shifted from poetry to prose, in my later years in secondary school. Books such as Things Fall Apart, Bottled Leopard, The Concubine and so on, fired my imagination. I made up my mind to write, the first time, after I read, God Father, by Mario Puzo, an American author, of Italian descent. In 2001, I started writing a book, titled Death Toll and finished the project in 2005. Ever since I have not looked back on my writing career.

Q: What genre do you write and how did you choose it?

Chike: I write literary fiction, but not limited to that alone, I’m versatile in my creativity. I write stories that explore the African culture and realities of the human condition. The themes of my stories revolve around love, communal conflicts, marital conflicts, children's affairs, crimes, thrillers, and tragedies. These form the pool from which I develop my style of writing. I wouldn’t want to tie myself to one genre because of the way my mind works. I tend to flow in the path my imagination leads me.

Q: Have you ever experienced writer’s block and how did you deal with it?

Chike: writer’s block simply means when a writer is unable to write his thoughts down due to poor or lack of inspiration. In other words, the writer’s mind goes blank. It’s normal to experience a block as a writer, at least once in a while. I have indeed experienced it a couple of times in the past. I deal with this by taking a break and engaging in some form of relaxation. Writing is a product of ideas and is generated through inspiration and inspiration is drawn from the spiritual. So, don’t get worked up, when you experience a block, you’re not in the spirit at that time. It’s as simple as that. Again, you must ensure you have your work in progress outlined to serve as a guide so you don’t have to be cracking your brain on the next line of action in your writing project.

Q: How/where do you get information or ideas for your books?

Chike: I source information for my books from within my surroundings. As a writer I have to be aware of my environment and what goes on around me, because my environment is my primary source of writing information. I draw ideas from everyday people, daily events, current affairs, journals, other novels or creative works, the internet, social media, and nature, the lists are endless. As a writer, it’s left for you to narrow the subject you want to convey to your readers. I do a lot of research. For example, while writing Sacrifice of Peace, I have to study the communal lifestyle of a typical Igbo community of the pre-colonial era.

I will first have an idea of what I want to write about before I proceed to do a detailed plan of everything that would go into the story, from the characters, setting, period, and writing style to the plot before I start developing the story.


Q: Are there authors or books that influenced you either growing up or as an adult? 

Chike: Yes, I have authors who influenced me. I may not know them in person, but their works made lots of impact on the way I write. Authors like Chinua Achebe, Emeka Ike, Elechi Amadi, and Prof. Wole Soyinka, made significant impacts on the way I view creative writing. Sacrifice of Peace was written to make a statement, about the authors and books that shaped my literary belief.

Q: How many books have you written?

Chike: I have four published books. They are; Amope the Slave girl, Ule the Lazy farmer, Helen: A Retrospect | A Reversion and Sacrifice of Peace, which is my latest. And I have about ten unpublished titles. 

Q: What are the challenges you faced in writing and publishing your books?

Chike: The challenges are numerous, but the main ones are funding and distribution of books. Creative writing and publishing is indeed a narrow path to venture into in this part of the world. Getting a publishing house to accept your work as a starter is like swimming against the tides. Since it’s not easy to secure a deal with a publishing house, you have to do everything for yourself as a self-published author. Distributing your books is one herculean task self-published authors faced, and having to persuade the printing press to deliver your job on time after you’ve made payment. I am still faced with these challenges, and it’s affecting the performance of my books in the marketplace.

Q: How do you market your book? What avenues have you found to work best for your genre?

Chike: Sacrifice of Peace has been in the market for quite a while. In my strategy, I  printed a few hard copies, had a book launch and then reprint more copies for distribution to major bookshops across the country. I made that arrangement with my printer based in Ibadan. My number two strategy is to get it published on Amazon, an online bookshop, that’s the stage I am in now. Also, the design of my author’s website is ongoing, when it’s done, I’ll let you know. I have people handling the online stuff, and I hope it yields a positive result.

Also, there is a work in progress, to have Sacrifice of Peace used as a literature book in schools in one of the states in the country. I am waiting for approval from the education board.

Q: What do you consider your best accomplishment so far as a writer?

Chike: As a writer, I always have this sense of accomplishment whenever I complete a book project. I often feel relieved when I finish writing a story. Some years back, I completed a draft titled, Rape on Campus, and felt like giving myself a treat for achieving such a feat. But I had no cash on me, so I decided to take a stroll and run into a relative, I had not seen for a while, she took me out for a treat, and I ate and drank. Sometimes, nature knew your heart's desire and conspired to give that to you.  But I’m hoping that a time will come when my title will become a household name across countries of the world. That will be my greatest accomplishment.

Q: How do you coordinate your daily work with your writing time?

Chike: Before embarking on any writing project, I have all my ideas laid out, which makes it easier for me to have time for other activities. Mostly, I use my spare time to write, like during breaks, I always have my writing pad and plot outline handy with me. I write down information as inspiration flows. I also draft something while in transit. I utilize the night hour and weekends for my story development. These and more, are the ways I schedule my writing routines and at the same time engage in other activities.

Q: What are the challenges of being a writer in Nigeria? 

Chike: The challenges are numerous as I have stated before; one, is the issue of little or no funding for writers to research, write and publish their works. Two, publishing houses are not willing to promote the works of creative writing, like our foreign counterparts. There are issues of piracy and the inability of the government to confront this monster headlong. There’s also the issue of poor reading culture, a result of a poor educational system. Lack of support by government and private institutions in promoting book-related projects and programmes. 

Q: Are you a self-publishing author or do you have a publisher?

Chike: My first book, Amope the Slave Girl, was published by Macmillan Nigeria Publisher. I submitted the work and they accepted it for publishing, with payment of annual royalty as the contract stipulated. But the company is yet to match their words with action, for I have never received any royalties from them. After my experience with Macmillan, I decided to self-publish my books. I published a book titled, Ule the lazy farmer, a book I tailored for school-age pupils, on a friend’s advice. So, I have tasted what it takes to work under a publisher and to self-publish. 


Q: How do you promote your books and are they yielding interest?

Chike: what I have done with my books was to print a few copies and sell them on demand. Now I am looking in the direction of E-books. I have been making campaigns via my social media. I have engaged some social media influencers like you, to talk about my books. Sacrifice of Peace will be live on Amazon on 30th March 2023; I engaged the service of an American, to deploy her expertise at ensuring good sales for the book. 

Q: What kind of feedback do you get from your readers?

Chike: So far, the feedback is impressive, though the distribution of the book has not reached a wider populace of readers, due to limited copies. But the testimonies are positive. An account of two bank staff that bought the book got me smiling. The lady said her cousin couldn’t stop talking about the book and carried it about. The book is attracting lots of testimonies and positive responses from those who have read it.

Q: Your book, Sacrifice of Peace was reviewed in this blog, give us some information about the writing of the book. 


Chike: The idea of the title Sacrifice of Peace was conceived sometime in 2016 and much research went into birthing it. I wanted to prove that an Epic story of African culture can be written by a writer of my generation and to honour the likes of Chinua Achebe and Elechi Amadi who have done it in the past.

I also wrote Sacrifice of Peace to mirror the social ills of communal conflicts common among African communities and the need to embrace peace. 

One objective I had while writing the story was to preserve and promote the African culture and to make it a subject of conversation among young pupils in literature classes in our schools. 

I have to give my mother credit, for providing me with the folktales and songs used in the stories. I couldn’t have done it on my own without her input.

Q: Do you have any advice for aspiring writers, especially in your genre?

Chike: My advice to them is to have in mind that writing is a narrow path and it’s also like a marathon. But it rewards the diligent. They have to be diligent with their crafts; seek guidance from those ahead of them. It won’t be long before they begin to reap the fruit of their labours. I am not there yet, but I know I have passed a lot of stages to be where I am now, I can attest to the fact that it has not been easy.

Q: What else are you great at that few people know about?

Chike: Singing and creative arts, but I never took them seriously. As for arts, because I didn’t have an art teacher in my primary and secondary school, I lost interest in developing it further. But for music, my introverted nature kept me back from going public with my singing abilities.

Q: What is your favourite music/film?

Chike: I should say I don’t have a favourite music. It’s like a seasonal thing for me. But there are artists I love their songs, the likes of Bob Marley, John Legend, Faze and Majek Fashek.

Again, I am not the type that watches TV programmes often, but I love drama series.

Q: How do you relax and what are your hobbies aside from writing?

Chike: I am an indoor person, when I
am not seriously engaged or reading, I watch football. In the past, I played football, but I stopped due to physical constraints.


























Monday 12 December 2022

John Chinaka Onyeche (A Poet)

Author's Hangout With Zizi

John Chinaka Onyeche is a tenacious young man with a voracious hunger for knowledge and expansion of his horizon through books and the writing of poetry.

I remember his wife telling me, “John will use the last money on him to buy a book rather than buy a meal.” This shows his level of addiction to books.

It’s not surprising that when he picked his pen to write poetry, they came out in a torrent. Imagine having eight published poetry books in a year. What a fait accompli when you add the fact that he is a full-time undergraduate and works with a private firm too.

His poems have been featured in many international anthologies, poetry sites and magazines. He is an esurient reader as well as an author of many poetry collections. Writing poetry according to him is not just a means of escape from the many issues of life but also, a means to share his life and story with a wider audience.


Tell us about yourself?

John Chinaka Onyeche is an author, poet, and teacher of History and African History. He is the author of many poetry books. He is the Best of Net Nominee. A husband, and father of two lovely kids from Igbodo Etche LGA of Rivers State, Nigeria. John writes from the city of Port Harcourt in Rivers State, Nigeria, and is currently a student of History and Diplomatic Studies at Ignatius Ajuru University of Education Port Harcourt Rivers State. 

How and when did your writing journey begin?

Ans: Well, I have been writing since when I was 20 years old. I remembered reading a collection of love text messages and being that I was raised a Jehovah’s Witnesses, I felt like this is not good for a Christian, I don’t know if I was a religious fanatic then. What I did was to tell myself that; I am going to write my own kind of presumed good books people would read and be inspired positively because I thought that love text message books were bad ones.......smiles.

Why did you choose to write poetry?

Ans: First, I didn’t study English nor know the rudimentary of writing it, but one thing is for sure, I loved written words and had wanted to write my thoughts out for people to read and be blessed in whatever way my little stories would stir them. I chose poetry because I couldn’t find many words and languages to write my thoughts on one particular thing over and over again. Maybe, tomorrow I might employ a ghostwriter to help me write my long stories. Yes, in poetry, I find few words to tell my heartfelt stories and they go a long way to help my readers feel my experiences in life. Yeah, I love poetry.

Where and how do you get ideas for your poems?

Ans: I am a troubled young man. Yes, I realised this lately, and I am trying every day of my life to live out the good within me and nothing more or less. My ideas for poetry come in many forms and ways, as the muse leads me to write. Sometimes it may be looking at nature or things happening around me. I took my time to write them down on a small scale and later developed them into poems I would read and feel at ease with the writing.

Is there any author or book that influenced you in any way, growing up or as an adult?

Ans: I would start by saying that, I used to read only motivational books and Christian literature. Then, I stumbled on “The Lost Symbol” by Dan Brown. I loved everything about the novel and its secrecy which led to my quest for almost all his books. The suspense made me glued to the books and although I never thought of writing poetry then. Dan Brown stood out to me. Another author was Anthony Robbins, In The Light Of Truth, and books like The Alchemist, The Power Of Now, and The Richest Man In Babylon, etc, all but to mention a few, really helped me.

Tell us about the challenges in getting your first book published?

And: When I started writing poetry in 2020, I got some acceptance from journals and literary publishers, I joined some writing groups, and one that I still remember was the one owned by Stanley Umezurike, and after a while, I wrote to him, he encouraged me to try publishing a collection of my poems. I didn’t have all it takes to get the job done, so I started submitting my manuscript to publishers, and a majority of these publishing firms were vain publishers. What do I mean? Yeah, any publisher who asks you to pay to publish your manuscript and afterwards pay you royalties is not a good one for any writer, and writers shouldn’t be tempted to sign such agreements. 

I know what I wanted but as a student with a low income, and a family to support too, there was money to pay anyone to publish my book. I took my time to make a lot of friends from outside the box (Facebook). One day, Mike Zone messaged me that he owns a publishing press and would like to publish my book and send 40 copies of the book. I recalled what I read from the book The Alchemist, “The universe conspires to bring to you those things that you seek”. That’s exactly how it happened to me.

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How do you market your work? What avenues have you found to work best for you and has it been rewarding?

Ans: None of my books is self-published. They are all under contract with monthly updates on sales of the books. So, all I do is after the publishers publish the books, they send me the links on the Amazon page, and I share them on my Facebook, Twitter and other social media handles I have an account.


Tell us about your recent poetry book, The 21 Atonements and what inspired the collection of poems in the book?

Ans: There is no better way a broken young man like myself could live except to live in those poems therein 21 Atonements. I was battling with marital issues. My marriage heading towards a rock with my wife’s continued anger towards me for reasons I am yet to know. She is hell-bent on quitting the marriage. The 21 Atonements are reminiscent of my daughter’s birth on the 27th of October 2022. I received a call from my wife’s elder sister that my wife was booked for an emergency(C/S) birth. As an orphan child, so many emotions came to my mind, and I could not find anyone to share them with. I quickly downloaded a Notepad from the play store and started writing short words as my broken spirit led me to write. Every day I wrote something concerning my life, my wife and our daughter. The circumstances surrounding her birth inspired me to write the collection.


The name, yes, I wanted to make it 21 notes to make my wife and daughter see the future of our lives and not judge me with my present condition and also to acknowledge the sacrifice my wife made to give birth to this daughter of ours. In the book, I told how from the day we knew she was with our second baby, she (my wife) disconnected me from being part of the family and the child. It caused me a lot of traumatic moments each time I saw a pregnant woman.

“Your scar came with a life

But I am the earth without form

that does not worth it even...

Yet, you bore the darkness

bringing the light.”

—the beauty of our earth

That’s my acknowledgement of her sacrifice at the opening of the collection.

How long does it take you to write a poem?

Ans: Well, I don’t think I have written any poem in a day. I always go back to each poem,  read it, examine it and add more to the poem. Except I’m so broken in spirit that I write poetry and post it on my Facebook page for friends to read and comment on. There are poems I haven’t finished writing because I got lost in the lines, and I decided to drop them. Yeah, that is how it goes.

Do you write any other genre besides poetry?

Ans: I am yet to venture into other genres. I am yet to master poetry enough to think of any other genre. I remember trying to write a short story before, and after reading what I wrote, it didn’t feel good, so I know that’s not my calling....smiles. If the story is to be well written, it will be a good moral lesson for humanity at large. Funny enough, the manuscript is still with me, and from time to time, I read it and laugh out loud.

What is your work schedule like when you’re writing?

Ans: I took poetry seriously during the COVID-19 pandemic, and ever since then, I have been trying my best to keep writing every day. I gained admission to the university to study history and diplomatic studies in 2019, and I got married to my wife in 2020, and in December of that same year, we had our first child. Also, I work with a security firm from Monday to Sunday. In a week, I just have only one day off duty. My study is full-time, and because of this, I have worked myself to become a night Wolf. I swap with my colleagues who don’t like night duty to enable me to attend my morning classes. Those nights I’m on duty, I burn my candles and write my life out on ink and paper. Although it has not been easy for me, I thank God for keeping me alive and well. By God’s grace, I will be rounding up my studies in 2023. to God and Rev, Fr KC be all glory and appreciation.

What was one of the most surprising things you learned in writing your poems?

Ans: I have learned a lot about this art called poetry. I see it as another way to live your story, be it good or ugly. Instead of crying over the past and the things I passed through, I took to writing poetry to purge myself emotionally. I can boldly say that in the course of my writing poetry, I have come to love my life and the stories behind it.

How many poetry books have you written? Any favourite and why?

Ans: For now, I have the following collections to my name: (1) Echoes Across The Atlantic (2) We Returned To Kiss The Cross (3) A Night Tale At Threshold Of Howl (4) The Broken Fort (5) A Good Day For Tomorrow’s Coming (6) Stateless (7) 21 Atonements and a Chapbook making them (8) 

I published all these books in one year. But every one of these collections has something to tell the human world. 21 Atonements has today become my favourite as it speaks to me as a person and my family life in a nutshell.



What are the challenges you face as a poet?

Ans: Poetry is not a paying craft for younger people like myself, and I wonder if it will pay tomorrow. We all have our stories to tell, and that’s why I have resolved to tell my own story if it pays or not, I will continue making my story count.

You wouldn’t believe that after writing (8) collections of poetry books, I can’t boast of $100 in my account from these books. That’s my own story, and it might be different from that of others.

What are your other interests outside reading and writing? How do you relax?

Ans: I just have three things that I love so much, (1) reading (2) writing (3) helping make books for friends. Some time ago, I thought of running a firm that would provide literary advice and help people in the global village of writers. This dream gave birth to what I call “Ask Ajc Group Ltd”. My vision is to answer questions and provide literary guidance to those in need of the services. I believe gradually it will come to be. I have been using my little scene in the writer's world to do it. It gives me joy.

How do I relax? Honestly, I don’t think I have enough time to relax. Perhaps when I am through with my studies and have fewer activities, I will find time to relax.

In your writing journey, what are the most important lessons, you’ve learned?

Ans: Well, I have learned that every good writing requires dedication and that we all have a story to tell as humans. I have come to know that in my little way, I am contributing too.

Give us an interesting fact about any of your books.

Ans: Well, one of the facts about these collections is that I live in 80% of those words written therein. So, when you pick up any of them to read, know that you are reading a story about someone who is not ready to give up on life, regardless of whether life on Earth is sweet or bitter.

How has being a writer helped your personality growth, and where do you see yourself in the coming years with your writing?

Ans: Being a writer has helped me in critical thinking and not diving into anything that may jeopardise my reputation as a person. In school, some of my contemporaries speak about me even when I am not in their midst, and some lecturers engage with me in intellectual reasoning. Yes, that’s what being a writer has helped me to become.

I want to become a better writer than I am today, and soon, I see myself becoming a history teacher or any other subject that will help people gain knowledge.

I am open to learning and welcome every means by which the quest for learning offers me.

What do you consider your best accomplishment?

Ans: Writing a collection of poems published in and outside the African continent while I am still an undergraduate student in history, not English or literature. To me, it is an accomplishment.

Do you have any advice for aspiring writers, especially in your genre?

Ans: To the one who wishes to find writing as a way to live, now is the time and not tomorrow. It is now or never. Also, don’t be too fast to publish your manuscript. Take time to develop it, get good and established writers to read the manuscript and give you feedback on what to do to improve it. And also, if you can afford it, engage a good editor for your book.


You can reach John Chinaka through the following means:

Rememberajc.wordpress.com

Facebook.com/jehovahisgood

Twitter.com/apostlejohnchin

Apostlejohnchinaka@gmail.com

https://linktr.ee/Rememberajc

https://internationalbookworld.webador.com/john-chinaka-onyeche



Thursday 15 September 2022

Olusola Sophia Anyanwu (Author & Poet)

Author's Hangout With Zizi.
As I went through her profile on Twitter, the word “loves to encourage.” was a glaring testament to her love for others. From reading more about her, I discovered that indeed, Olusola Sophia Anyanwu is not just a woman with a large heart but one who touches lives tremendously with her hand, pen, and word.

She gives lifting hands to authors by buying, reading and reviewing the books she reads. When she said she is a reader and a reviewer, she is.

She is also a good poet, a romance writer and with heart-touching Christian books in her kit. 

One of her books, The Captive’s Crown, which she graciously sent to me, made my day. I couldn’t engage in any other activity until I finished reading it. The story was captivating and vibrant, and the writing; was classic. It shows the redemptive works of Jesus while on earth. A life-transforming Christian book.

Olusola Anyanwu is a talented writer who has written books across different genres, from romance and poetry to children’s books. Sit back and read about this wonderful author and woman of God.

 Tell us about yourself?

Thanks for having me!  My full name is Olusola Sophia Anyanwu, a British Nigerian, married with 5 children and 7 grandchildren. I am a Christian, a tutor, writer, poet and reviewer. I have authored 13 books which include 3 poetry collections.

When did you start writing? 

In 1979, I started writing poetry. Before then, as a child of 12, I liked writing songs and play scripts for my siblings.

When did you publish your first book?

 In July 2017

What are the challenges you faced in getting your first book published?

 I was a greenhorn and completely naïve at that time. So I googled for publishers and went for the first thing that came up. This was AuthorHouse publishers. It was done in good time and affordable. So, it was straightforward without any challenges.

You are a versatile writer with captivating books. Where do you get inspiration for them? 

Thanks so much for the compliment! It has to be God using my experiences at uni, my family and the Bible to inspire me.

Have you ever experienced writer’s block, and how did you deal with it?

Ah, yes! There were those few occasions when I ran dry of ideas and even the motivation to continue a particular writing project.  I dealt with this by starting a completely new writing project, attempting poetry or letting myself ‘rest’ for weeks waiting for God to start me off again.

Is there any author or book that influenced you in any way either growing up or as an adult?

 I enjoyed Elechi Amadi’s romantic writing in ‘The Concubine’ in my teens. As an adult, I have especially enjoyed Lola Shoneyin’s intrigue, wit, humour and writing style in ‘The Secret Lives of Baba Segi’s Wives. I also love Susan Howatch’s writing style in ‘Sins of the Fathers’ and have thoroughly enjoyed all the Christian Fiction books written by Francine Rivers.

Is anything in your books based on real-life experiences or purely all imagination? 

Stories from the Heart, Their Journey and The Crown, are based on true life, but the rest of my books are pure imagination!

What do you consider your best accomplishment as a writer? 

That would be publishing all my writings.

How many books have you written? Any favourite and why? 

I have written 13 books, and my favourite is ‘Their Journey’. It is my first Christian fiction novel and the only book that comprises historical, romance, intrigue and fantasy. I really enjoyed writing it.

What are the challenges of being a writer?

Getting reviews, Marketing and Sales.

What are your other interests outside reading and writing? 

Playing board games like chess. 

How do you relax? 

Listening to classical or Christian music and watching a nice movie occasionally.

What advice will you give to aspiring writers, especially those who would want to toe in your footsteps? 

They should explore their creative writing skills, attend workshops to hone their skills and read loads of storybooks.

How long does it take you to write a book? 

For small books, a month to 3 months and big books, from 6 months to 1 year.

What would you say is your interesting writing quirk? 

Classical music

What does your family think of your writing? 

Good question. It hasn’t quite sunk into their heads that I am a writer, though my children and my husband are supportive.

What was one of the most surprising things you learned in writing your books? 

That I could write over 300,000 words in a short time if I put my mind to it.

Did your environment and upbringing influence your writing? 

Yeah. My Dad was an author and introduced me to the love of books. I had my own library right from 7 years old.

How do you cope with writing and nurturing your many children and grandchildren? 

God is good! My youngest child will be 25 this year. My grandchildren are in Dubai, Northfleet and Colchester. When they visit, they inspire my poetry writing. I write when they are asleep. They don’t visit all the time, so I have time for myself.



For more about Olusola Anyanwu and her books, visit her website or her Amazon author page.

                           

https://www.olusolasophiaanyanwuauthor.com/

 https://www.amazon.com/Olusola-Sophia-Anyanwu/e/B07MC9KYDK%3Fref=dbs_a://www.amazon.com/Olusola-Sophia-Anyanwu/e/B07MC9KYDK%3Fref=dbs_a


Wednesday 15 June 2022

Christine Vidal-Wachuku (Courtship coach & Author)

Author's Hangout With Zizi

She is a woman who doesn’t beat about the bush. When it comes to relationship matters, she is blunt, direct, and succinct with words. The “no-nonsense- coach” is an apt name for the way she handles relationship issues.

When I get to know her and chat with her, she is a lot more than the face she presents online. Her tenacity, doggedness and zeal are worth emulating. These attributes were glaring in her book, Breaking Barriers, the story of her life and marriage.

Did I add she is witty too? She is fun to be with and chat with. Her jokes and manner of speaking can keep you laughing for a day.

Read her posts about her life, marriage and her husband, and you will realise that marriage is sweet when you marry the right partner. Christine and her husband, Vidal-Wachuku are personifications of the word, “two hearts that beat as one.” She is on a mission to teach the younger generation how to marry right and enjoy marriage, not endure it, through her courtship academy.

She is the author of Breaking Barriers and other books on courtship and relationships.


Tell us about yourself? Your background, education and work experience.

I am Christine Vidal-Wachuku nee Jezhi, born on 2nd June 1964 in Keffi, Nigeria, to Gbagyi parents. I grew up in Kaduna but spent my holidays in Karu, Abuja–my hometown. I attended FGGC Bakori, now in Katsina State; then Ahmadu Bello University, Zaria, where I studied Law. I was called to the Nigerian Bar in 1986 and later obtained a Master’s in Law from the University of Jos, Nigeria. Much later in life, our church relocated us to Florida, in the United States, where my lawyer husband served as a full-time ordained minister. Unable to practice law in the USA, I made a midlife career change to become a Registered Nurse. I subsequently earned a bachelor’s degree from the University of Central Florida in the same field. Later, I started a master’s degree program in Nursing Education at the same university before they transferred my husband to Texas, where we now live.

I am a wife, and mother of 3 extraordinary daughters, Kpetu, Shekwonyadu, and Imani, a mother-in-law to a hard-working young man, Glenn Moore, and a grandmother to 2 fantastic boys, Awyetu and Atnadu. I am also the No-Nonsense Courtship Coach and chief facilitator of the Courtship Academy.

I enjoy learning recipes from different cultures and travelling with my heartthrob, Vidal.


Why the career shift, from a lawyer to a nurse?

I could not practice law in Florida without returning to the university for a law degree or master’s here. Besides, going back to read law, was expensive and not worth it because while volunteering at the Orange County Legal Aid, I met many American lawyers there looking for unavailable jobs. Florida has over 99,000 lawyers. I didn’t want to incur student loans and yet cannot use the degree.

But I didn’t want to wash toilets either. I researched and found out that the health profession was a guaranteed place for employment. Since I had already become a certified nursing assistant, I decided I might as well proceed to read nursing.

Because I switched from law to the sciences, I had to take some nursing prerequisites. After studying hard and long, they admitted me into the dual enrolment program for my Bachelor’s in nursing.

Dual enrolment means I was attending a college and a university at the same time. I obtained my Associate degree in nursing from the college in two years, then wrote and passed the qualifying nursing exam, NCLEX, in September 2019. Two more semesters later, I obtained my BSN–Bachelor of Nursing Science.

Later, I enrolled for a master’s in nursing education at the same university, but my husband was transferred to the great state of Texas, resulting in a hold on the program.


What inspired you to become a relationship coach?

My experiences put me on this path. While my husband, Vidal, and I were courting. If I may quote from my book, Breaking Barriers. 

We discussed various issues relating to our future union over several days and weeks. What kind of marriage and home did we want? What life did we want for ourselves? When would we start a family? How many children and how would we raise them?

What would happen if they were all the same sex? What were our individual and joint goals for our marriage and home? What career path did we want? As Christians, what were our aspirations? What would be our policy towards immediate and extended family members, especially in financial assistance? What about our finances? Would we keep separate accounts or have a joint account? What was our mindset and attitude about house-help? There was hardly anything we didn’t cover. We were determined to build our home on Christian principles and values. (Chapter Six: Laying the Foundation of Our Future Home.

Asking these deep questions and giving honest answers helped to cement our love and lay the solid foundation on which our over thirty-four years of blissful marriage has thrived.

Encouraged by folks' positive reactions to these and other questions, I developed them into a Compatibility Workbook For Courting Couples and make it the bedrock on which a top-notch one-of-its-kind Courtship Academy, is founded.

Sadly, we spend years preparing for a career, yet we do not train ourselves on how to select a spouse. We blindly enter a union that can make or mar one for life.

The Academy fills this gap. It is an online platform to guide singles and courting couples through courtship—a period supposed to be used to decode a potential partner and determine if both genuinely match. Knowing the right questions to ask will lead them to unmask each other and ultimately make the crucial decision if that person is the one to spend the rest of their lives with.

I firmly believe that a life partner’s choice should never be left to chance, nor depend solely on prayer. Faith without works is dead. One should not go into marriage only to discover the partner is a total stranger is a solid motivator for me to become a courtship coach.

What is your mission and vision as a marriage/relationship coach?

My vision is to see courting couples becoming intentional during their courtship by earnestly asking each other incising questions that enable them to unravel each other to avoid the possibility of ending up in marriage with a stranger.

My mission is to equip youths to understand that choosing a spouse is not something you left to chance, society or traditional expectations, or prayer alone, but also through asking the right questions during courtship to determine compatibility and lay a solid foundation for marriage.

What are the responses to your courtship academy and your students' feedback?

Being a novel thing, it is taking time to gain traction, but it is not surprising. As new things go, it is a gradual process. However, feelers from those who have bought into the idea of investing their time and effort to have a successful marriage potentially show that it will catch on and spread like wildfire.

How did you come up with your slogan, “Your No-Nonsense Courtship Coach”?

It describes who I am as a person. I am a straight shooter, which is the approach I bring to my coaching.

Though the slogan initially made a few uncomfortable as they thought I might be unreachable, upon interacting with me, they realized what it truly meant.

What was one of the most surprising things you learned as a marriage/relationship coach?

Simply that most are absolutely unprepared for marriage!

They do not teach us about marriage as we assume that just as a newborn has a sucking instinct and can find the breast and suck, youths could get a spouse and settle into a successful marriage. We do not consider compatibility vital in choosing a partner.

My experience is that many are ignorant about who they are. They know nothing about themselves and what they want. They do not know about their values, beliefs, and what they should consider deal-breakers.

Many women, in particular, are worried about getting older without marrying. Others consider it a poverty alleviation scheme and marry to have someone cater to their needs.

Many apply the same process their parents and forefathers used and expect a different result. It is obvious those methods are not working.

Because of the above, many women become easy prey for men that don’t deserve them. They do the bidding of the men if it would get a ring on their finger and the title MRS. to their name. I am out to change this narrative.

What author or book influenced you either growing up or as an adult?

Things Fall Apart by Chinua Achebe. His stories had traditional settings, and I love how he narrated them. To me, he challenged stereotypes, myths, and the image of ourselves and our continent and recast them through stories-prose, poetry, essays, and books for our children. You can glean his impact on me from my book; Breaking Barriers.

What is the essential role of a relationship/ marriage coach?

As a courtship coach, I am different from a relationship/marriage coach. My niche is to catch the problem before it happens. By assisting youths in identifying potential challenges before marriage, they build a solid foundation, thus avoiding the nightmare masked in most marriages.

What do you consider your best accomplishment as a writer and a relationship/marriage coach?

Writing and publishing my book, Breaking Barriers. It led to realizing my potential as a courtship coach and ultimately birthing the Courtship Academy.



The rate of divorce is on the increase. What do you think could be the cause?

I believe most marriages fail today because when most parties were single and courting; they did not take the time to dig in and truly know who they were planning to marry by asking vital and at times tough and unpleasant questions. This is attributable to ignorance as most simply do not know the right questions to ask or what they want, as I earlier stated.

These questions and the discussions lay the foundation for a successful marriage. This is where the Academy comes in.

Our Compatibility Workbook For Courting Couples guides singles to ask the right questions that will lead them to select the right spouse based on sound knowledge of the person. It contains questions regarding one’s values, ambition, career, expectations, finances, sex, children, the place of in-laws, and many more.

When you do not address compatibility issues during courtship, there’s an increased risk of the marriage crumbling like a piece of badly baked cake. This has led to many staring at their partner a few years into their union and wondering “How did I get into this?” To worsen matters, because this generation is so impatient, divorce becomes the easiest option. Also, most go into marriage with a 50-50 perception. 50-50 proposition is all about. I will do my part. You do yours. Scorecards are kept.

Each checks the scorecards to see who is doing what. Is it 50% yet? Once the partner cannot keep their own 50, then trouble begins. Resentment starts, followed by bitterness, and the union ends in the ditch of divorce. Most do not know, but 50-50 is a half commitment to the union.

Marriage is a 100-100 proposition. You must be willing to give 100 per cent, expecting nothing from your partner. You are ready to put in your all (100%) to make it a success. No scorecards.

Each gives 100 per cent, expecting nothing from the other partner. Marriage is teamwork, with each partner contributing 100 per cent.

Having this mindset will reduce divorce rates drastically. Honest and sincere communication, which you must develop during courtship, cements the relationship.

Domestic violence is rampant these days. How do you think we would avoid it?

I firmly believe that people don’t transform into abusers. They are born of a woman and have siblings.

They are with and among us, eating, drinking, and gisting. But they are avoidable. This is one reason I wrote Before You Say I Do: Dangerous Signs People Ignore In Their Potential Spouse Before Getting into Marriage.

It is possible to recognize an abuser during courtship. They show you who they are, but people often blow past them or are ignorant that these signs constitute deal-breakers. I’m afraid that’s not right. It is essential to recognize them for what they are and resolve them before saying; I do. If not resolvable, walk away! A broken courtship is better than a broken marriage or one where you lose your life! I encourage all to get my e-book to learn more about these signs.

As a minister’s wife and marriage/relationship coach, what would you consider the best advice to the youths on marriage and relationships?

Again, I am not a marriage coach. But as a courtship coach, my advice is that youths need to invest in learning about and adequately preparing for marriage, particularly these days when domestic violence and negative narratives surrounding marriage are on the increase.

Gone are the days one says love is blind and blindly jumps into marriage. No. Love should be intentional. As my husband says, his love had big goggles.

Take a cue from Eneke-nti-oba, the bird who said because “Men have learnt to shoot without missing the mark. I have learnt to fly without perching on a twig.”

We cannot rely on our parents’ method of finding a spouse and expect to get a different result. No. It will produce the same type of marriage they had. Young people must intentionally invest in preparing for this all-important life institution.

They must learn from the mistakes of others and understudy people with solid experiences whose marriages are successful. Again, it cannot be over-emphasized that marriage, a union that can make or mar one for life, is too important to be left to chance.

If you desire something better, like Eneke-nti-oba, learn to use a different and intelligent process to lay a solid foundation. Prayer alone won’t cut it. As earlier stated, faith without works is dead. Neither would parental, pastoral choices or friend's suggestions alone do it.


How many books have you written? What are the challenges of writing and publishing them?

I have three books. Two are e-books, and 1 is a hard copy. I am currently writing a third e-book, Sex Taboos. Publishing a book is not something for the faint-hearted, and I greatly respect every author who has published a book. It is much more challenging when it is a physical copy.

When I finished writing my book, “Breaking Barriers”, I looked for a publisher who gave me a breakdown of the cost. It shocked me that the publishing cost was high and this was separate from printing costs!

"What! You mean publishing cost doesn’t include printing?" I asked. “Not at all. They are different,” was the response. Ah! Apart from publishing and printing, I have realized that the most challenging part is marketing. No one wants to write and publish a book for just themselves, family, and friends. People write because they believe they have a message to pass to a larger audience. But you must convince your intended audience that your book has a solution to their problems. Trust me, that’s not a simple thing to do.

I recently enrolled in a 30 Days Story Telling Course by Emeka Nobis to learn how to tell better stories. This is apart from his Academy, Your Book Will Sell, where I enrolled for 50k. This is a small price compared to what I stand to gain if I can sell my books. But how many are ready to invest in equipping themselves to market their books?


Give us an interesting, fun fact about your latest book, Breaking Barriers?

It has 6 languages represented: English, Gbagyi, Igbo, Hausa, Yoruba, and Pidgin English. It can also evoke various emotions: anger, joy, sadness, comfort, faith, resilience, determination, and much more.

The book is based on your personal experience in life and marriage? What inspired you to write about it?

I believe I had a unique story, and the world needed to hear it. The more I witnessed what marriage has become, the more I felt I should write my story. All I needed was the push which I finally got from  A Facebook private group, ‘Gals Hangout’ created by Dr Ejiro Otive-Igbuzor.

The realization that 34 years after my own marriage, some Nigerians still frowned upon and opposed intertribal marriages further motivated me to put pen to paper. Writing this book is my pushback on the ethnic prejudices that continually divide us as a people. I hope it will disabuse and free many minds from these pervading and prevailing misconceptions.

How long did it take you to write the book?

It took several months. But I believe this was so because, as I said earlier, I first wrote it on a private Facebook group, Gals Hangout. Members consistently pushed me to write it out in the space of 10 weeks because they were eager to read, and I didn’t want to disappoint. After that, I started the more tedious part of editing and rewriting.

Your other books on relationships, are their content based on some personal experiences too? If so, can you share a brief story about their writing?

My e-books contain a few personal stories here and there. As I write a book, I look within myself to see what I can share that will benefit others and help them solve their problems practically. I remember stories that have happened to me or others that add value to the content. People learn more through relatable stories. This is why I am taking the 30 Days Story Telling Course to become better at telling stories.

How will your book's content help your readers resolve a problem or benefit them in their relationship journey?

As I stated, I use practical and relatable stories to illustrate my point. I show my readers the path I or others took to achieve tangible results. People don’t have to repeat the mistakes of others, but learn and improve on them to make their journey lighter, better, and smoother.

What is your work schedule like when you’re writing?

As you know, I am a registered nurse and I work 10 to 12-hour shifts, five days a week. While writing ‘Breaking Barriers’, I was doing 12-hour shifts. I couldn’t change my schedule, but because of the Hangout, I knew people were waiting to read the next episode, so it helped me to stay consistent. Also, being a focused and committed person, I don’t enjoy disappointing people.

First, I used the weekends to write the outline of the story I wanted to include in the book. Then I took each part and wrote all I could remember about it. Once this was done, I would go for my 12 hours, return and look at the edits my husband did, accept, reject and fine-tune them, and then post to the group before I went to bed. The time difference worsened the situation, but as you can see, I arrived at my destination.

You have written many articles on health, wealth creation, and self-improvement. Should we expect books from you on them too?

I see you have researched me. [Laughs] I have e-books I wrote on wealth creation and health. I have thought about revisiting them, but I sometimes feel I should just focus on one thing—courtship. Well, I guess time will tell.

You’re a writer, a courtship coach, a lawyer, a nurse, and a wealth creation strategist. Then a farmer, if we add your latest planting of yams in American soil. How do you coordinate and manage this multi-talented, “no-nonsense” woman?

I wonder how I juggle all these. Sometimes it’s overwhelming. I guess it’s largely because of my personality. Since I don’t practice law in America, measurable goal setting is a tool I used to tackle the many things I do. I set immediate and long-term goals for what I want to achieve.

Then I do the activities that need to be done each day to reach the immediate and ultimately the long-term goals even when inconvenient. For example, I am determined to plant yams, knowing I must water them daily. So, I wake up early in the morning to do so. If unable to do it because I am running late for work, my husband helps. He offers a lot of support. 

I guess you missed out on one. I am also a wife.

I think because I rarely rely on motivation helps a great deal. I believe more in commitment. If something is on my schedule, I know it has to be done, so I do it whether or not I am motivated.

If you had to go back and do it all over, is there any aspect of your life/marriage you would want to change?

I would have wanted my marriage process not to have been as traumatic as it was.  And I would have wished my parents understood and given their consent and blessing. Also, I would have loved my siblings, friends, and family attended my wedding. My cousin, Naomi Baba Gbefwi, a retired nurse, believed strongly that all the trauma I went through before marriage may have caused a hormonal imbalance that led to my bleeding during the first trimester of my first pregnancy. My first child was born with a congenital malformation and lived for only 2 months and 28 days. It is certainly something I would have wanted to change if I could.


Saturday 13 November 2021

Bright Nkwocha, a Relationship/Marriage Counsellor and an Author

Author's hangout with Zizi

Months back, Bright Nkwocha was just a Facebook friend, of whom I love reading his posts. As a relationship coach too, I love reading the writings of others in the same field as me.

However, our relationship changed when I stumbled on the price slash of his books, which he did to mark his wedding anniversary. I bought the books, first to read more about his works and secondary to show solidarity towards his wedding anniversary celebration.

When I called him for the books; that was the first time we spoke with each other; his enthusiasm and response was heartwarming. I paid for the e-books and received them. 

His titles and covers were captivating, though some of his ideas were radical. But I love the simplicity of his writing style and the fact he used his life and marriage experiences as a rich source to educate single and married people on relationship matters. 

Who is Bright Nkwocha?

Bright U. Nkwocha is a happy man. He is a father, son and husband. He wants to enjoy more of what life has to offer.

What inspired you to become a relationship counsellor?

Problems inspired me to be a Relationship and Marriage Counsellor. I never planned to be one. I always say that it found me. I was more interested in teaching personal and organisational leadership, but people kept asking more questions related to relationships and marriage. I had to rise up to the challenge. It's been fun so far.

Which came first, the writing or the counselling?

The writing came first while the Counselling came very much later. I discovered my love for writing in secondary school.

What is your mission and vision as a marriage/relationship counsellor?

To help couples and singles in Africa solve tough relationship and marriage issues.

You have captivating titles. How did you come up with them?

I learned that from the great thought leader, Emeka Nobis. He advocates that in a field where there are over a million voices, you must find a way to be heard. Catchy titles fulfil that. I had to hone the craft over time.

 Where and how do you get inspiration for your literary works?

Life inspires me a lot. I draw greatly from my daily interactions with singles and couples in counselling sessions, too. I read a lot but the greatest source of inspiration for me is my life. I write about my life a lot.

What was one of the most surprising things you learned as a marriage/relationship counsellor?

I learned that most of what people say about relationships and marriage isn't true at all, especially in church. For example, you can do all the right things and still have a failed marriage.

What author or book influenced you either growing up or as an adult?

A lot ooo! It would be difficult to pick one or even three. John C. Maxwell, Steven Covey, Bishop T.D. Jakes and Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie would top the list with their books. I read them a lot. I still do.

What do you consider your best accomplishment as a writer and relationship/marriage counsellor?

 Making Counselling accessible to people online on the go.

How many books have you written? What are the challenges you faced in writing and publishing them?

I've written eleven books so far. The major challenge is having more ideas to write about than I have time for.

How do you market your work? What avenues have you found to work best for you?

I market them online via social media marketing. I discovered that those that participate in counselling almost always buy one or more of my books, so I market my counselling services more than I market the books themselves. In fact, I now write books only for counselling purposes.

How do you coordinate all the different parts of your life?

This is one area I still have not been able to handle well. Balance is never easy. I'm still learning. Creating art requires time and concentration and travelling. I'm just glad that I have a very understanding wife. They get to bear the full brunt of the burdens of my dreams.

 How do you promote your books and are they yielding fruits?

Social media marketing and, for now, it works. I'm working on better ways to get my books into the hands of more people.

What kind of feedback do you get from your readers and those you mentor?

As a rule, I don't mentor people. I have a different understanding of mentoring. Feedback from my work usually comes during or after counselling.

Give us an interesting, fun fact about the writing of any of your books.

 I wrote INFIDELITY after I cheated on my wife years ago.

 


What do you consider as the essential role of a relationship/ marriage counsellor?

 A Counsellor is essentially a guide. He or she will not make your decisions for you but will make your options known to you and guide you to what suits you best per time.

What is your view on religion and how much of that influenced your writing?

Well, I was a pastor for years. Ministry took me to seven countries, but in 2018, I closed down a church I was pastoring and left ministry work. I go to church once in a while. I do not consider myself a Christian Counsellor even though most of my clients are Christians. Religion is good, but it takes more from you than it gives to you. I write for Christians, but I don't imbibe most of its principles.

In one of your books, you stated that polygamy is not wrong. What informed your perception of this? 

History, especially the Bible, informed my decision about this.

What is your perception of pre-marital and extra-marital sex in relationships?

I believe and teach that sex is a healthy part of a relationship for mature singles and couples. Sex outside a committed relationship with a person, whether you're single or married, is wrong. I also know that this doesn't stop people, anyway. It's not so simple sometimes.

 What is the best advice for intending couples?

Adjust your expectations. Marriage is a crazy journey. One person cannot give you everything you need. A lot of problems in marriage cannot be solved. They can only be managed.

The rate of divorce in Nigeria is on the increase. What do you think could be the cause?

I personally don't think that the high rate of divorce is necessarily a bad thing. I know many people that got divorced and became happier. More people, especially women, are beginning to realize that they can walk away, that they can get better. Historically, in Africa, people were expected to stay and suffer through a terrible marriage. A lot is changing and I'm happy about this. It would get worse, then it would get better. The high divorce rate is the beginning effect of a huge cultural shift in Africa.

Domestic violence is rampant these days. How do you think people would avoid it?

Domestic violence doesn't just happen. It leaves a lot of clues at the start and usually for a while. If people took these clues more seriously, domestic violence would reduce drastically. Typically, people see the signs but use love as an excuse or tell themselves that they can fix the person. It almost always never ends well.

As a marriage/relationship counsellor, what would you consider the best advice to the youths on marriage and relationships?

 You won't survive it alone. Have a counsellor on speed dial!

What has been the best compliment you have ever received about your work?

 I have been told that I have keen insight into human nature. I understand people a lot without judging them.

What do you consider your best accomplishment as a writer/counsellor?

Staying married till now. I didn't know I'll last this long. My Marriage is the foundation of my writing and Counselling.

Where is the best way to reach you and learn more about your books?

 Facebook via @Bright U. Nkwocha
 And WhatsApp via 08164137531


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