BOUNDARIES IN INTIMATE RELATIONSHIP

Few people understand what boundaries are in relationships. That is the reason we rarely see evidence of them working in most relationships.

I asked many people what are the boundaries in their relationships. Some find this a tough question to answer. Those who have something to say are the unmarried ones. They know what they will not tolerate from a partner.

For the married ones, I wonder if they have lost their identities? A woman told me that once married, there is nothing like a boundary in marriage. I begged to differ, and an argument ensued. In the end, I discovered she is one of those women under a manipulative husband. She had lost her identity.

What is a personal boundary in a relationship?

A personal boundary in a relationship is a limit you set on what you can accept or tolerate of another person’s words or actions in a relationship. A boundary is also your bottom line, an invisible field you will not want someone to cross, trespass or tread upon. 

People have “limits,” to how much pain they will endure, how much abuse they will withstand and how far they will go to help others or be responsible for them. “Limits,” to what behaviour they will accept from others and what they will not. Limits on time spent with others, to avoid over-committing.

“Limits” on favours, services or labour they want to offer. Boundaries refer to limits you put in place to protect your well-being. 

 People have “bottom lines,” to how low they will descend to be with you, how far they will lower their standard in life for a person or a cause.

But for you to effectively put a boundary in place in your relationship, be clear with yourself and with your partner about what you want or need. This enables you to know when your boundaries are being crossed or your limits violated. 

People violate your limits because they are not aware of their existence. To establish effective personal boundaries, first, know them yourself. It is only when you know your boundaries that you can communicate them to your partner and follow through with the consequences of the violation. 

Setting good personal boundaries is beneficial to your relationship. Boundaries protect your individuality and self-esteem, they reduce emotional stress, anxiety and depression. They set obvious lines between what you want and what you do not want. What you can accept and what you can not accept. It earns you respect and makes your partner less likely to treat you like a doormat. Setting a good boundary provides you with a template by which others can treat you with respect. 

A lack of boundaries opens the door for control, manipulation, disrespect, and oppression from your partner and those around you. Lack of boundaries allows things like cruelty, abuse, and harassment to slip into your relationships. Setting boundaries safeguard your mental and relational health. A healthy mind and body make for a healthy relationship.

A healthy relationship is not controlling one another’s emotions or feelings, rather, it is supporting each other to grow and achieve self-actualization. 

Boundaries are for you and about you. They are about respecting your needs in your relationship. When you are uncomfortable about something in your relationship but don’t speak up and share it with your partner, resentment can build over time.

Building strong boundaries begins with knowing and understanding your limits. Knowing who you are, what you are responsible for and not responsible for. You are only responsible for your happiness, your behaviour, your choices, your feelings. You are not responsible for others' happiness, behaviours, choices, and feelings.

Healthy boundaries come from accepting yourself just the way you are. You don’t have to change yourself to be liked and you don’t have to depend on others' approval to live your life.

Stop trying to fix your partner or children, stop taking responsibility for the outcomes of their choices or behaviour. Don’t save or rescue them to feel needed in the family. That is neediness, and very unhealthy.

You need to say “no” to acts, actions and words you don’t have to accept from your family. And you have to learn how to accept “no” from them too. They need to protect their boundaries as well.

Understand that as your feelings are your choices, other people make choices about how they feel too, so they have to be responsible for those choices and the consequences. 

Types of boundaries

Boundaries can be physical or emotional.

Physical boundaries include your body, personal space, and privacy, looking through your personal files or your phone. 

Under this you have: 

Sexual boundaries: Boundaries around sexual frequency, physical intimacy. What sexual acts you preferred or what’s off-limits. Healthy sexual boundaries include mutual agreement, mutual consent, and each other’s sexual limits and desires. If you and your partner don’t know what your sexual boundaries are, one or both of you might spend precious time in fake sexual acts that are unhealthy for your relationship.

Financial Boundaries: Financial boundaries are all about money, and it is an inescapable part of human interactions. When money matters are not probably handled, it poisons a relationship. 

Setting financial boundaries is important. It will help you to know how to handle issues like joint or separate accounts, what to spend on purchases, what to save, and what to invest in. How much each partner will contribute and for what uses. And, who takes care of what bills, in the house.

Time boundaries: time is valuable, and you must protect how you utilise it.

Setting time boundaries at work, at home, and socially helps you to prioritise and set aside time for the many areas of your life to avoid over-committing. When you know your priorities, it is easier to limit the time you allot to people, things, or activities in your life.

Emotional boundaries: emotional boundaries are the ones you set on yourself. Healthy emotional boundaries involve separating your feelings from that of your partner. Your feelings should not depend on your partner’s thoughts, feelings, or moods. 

 Intellectual Boundaries

Intellectual boundaries encompass ideas and beliefs. Showing respect for different views and ideas can keep feelings from being hurt. Dismissing, criticizing, or belittling your partner’s feelings, thoughts, ideas, and curiosity can damage emotional intimacy. 

Healthy intellectual boundaries include respect for your partner’s ideas, thoughts, beliefs, opinions or political views. 

Tips on how to establish boundaries in your relationship:

• Communicate your thoughts to one another. Be honest and truthful about your needs, wants, and feelings. 

• Be respectful and attentive when your partner shares their thoughts and feelings with you. 

• Never assume or guess your partner’s feelings. Making assumptions can create a lot of misunderstandings in a relationship. 

• Never assume you know what your partner wants or needs. Always ask. It is better to ask rather than assume you know.

• When you set boundaries, follow through on what you say. Setting boundaries and not adhering to them will give your partner an excuse to violate your boundaries. 

• You shouldn’t compromise on things that are not acceptable to you, upset or offend you?

Boundaries should not be rigid constrictions designed to suffocate your relationship. And do not use them to build brick walls to keep your partner away. They are to give you and your partner time and space to be real and be yourself within the confines of your relationship.

A relationship with no boundaries is full of arguments, resentment, disappointment, and hurt feelings. Establishing healthy boundaries in a relationship allows both partners to feel comfortable and develop positive self-esteem.

THE SAD NOTES OF A GENERATION (David Onojah)

    

You see me broken,

like the soft hands of a glass,

fix me and let the pains hurt less

We are a sad generation with happy faces

that the world refused to see

but through the blurry images of darkness

we dim in the rays of hope

The sun burned the back of our neck

that hot afternoon, as unarmed protesters, in Lekki

with lips and words that fought for freedom

We watched as a thousand bullets,

swept some from the face of the earth

What sad notes should we not write about

In a season like this?

And that night, it rained heavily

I saw through the broken windows

the suffering of people in the dark streets

Their tears that echoed in the rain

Drained them in the room of leaking tops

As our leaders lay on their bed of paradise, Alas!

It's a sad reality,

that we read like pages in our heart

our notes are as sad as us

And when dawn sleeps on us,

the sounds of freedom awaken our spirits

We are the sad notes of a generation.

- David Onojah

Ikenna Okeh, Poet & Novelist

When I first came across his post on Facebook, I was like this young man is full of anger. I followed his posts and discovered his anger stemmed from the injustice and corruption prevalent in the country. Ikenna Okeh is vocal and unequivocally in stating his opinions about issues ailing the country and humanity. He is such that wants good to always triumph over evil in life and most of his books reflect this ideology.

Having read some of his books, I will say he writes with passion and attention to detail and with a good grasp of his characters. In whatever genre he wrote, his professionalism as a writer always shows forth. His crime novel, The Operative, was a page-turner and his poetry books are incisive. And his children’s books are entertaining and informative to kids and adults alike.

Tell us about yourself?

My name is Ikenna Okeh. I write contemporary fiction and poetry in an attempt to capture the human experience, especially within contemporary settings. I also write music reviews and follow up on artistic trends in the global music scene. You can find all my music-related writings on the Ubuntu FM website, which I co-founded with some other professionals and contributors in the Netherlands, South Africa and Canada. 

What inspired you to become a writer?

I wasn’t exactly inspired by writing. In an actual sense, I was drawn and sucked into it. Sometimes I consider myself a victim of circumstances where it concerns writing.  At the age of eleven, I read a short story and was gravely dissatisfied with it, I told myself I could do better than what I had read. I did, and afterwards began crafting pieces of drama and incomplete short stories, and my siblings became keen readers of my works. But because I never wanted to be a writer, I stopped writing, purely in defiance. I graduated from university, travelled to Lagos to find work. It was one of the most disappointing moments of my life and that got me thinking about what to offer to the world in exchange for the life I desired and which I believed I deserved. To put things in context, after I defied writing as a boy, I intended to become a doctor, but I ended up studying Food Science & Technology at university; I couldn’t worm my way through the barriers of entry into the medical departments of Nigerian public universities. My knowledge in Food Science hasn’t been used in any professional way and I am not pressured about it. 

You write different genres, what’s the secret of your versatility as a writer? How did you choose the genre you write in?

As every writer progresses along their journey towards recognition for their works, it is normal for them to experiment with different forms and styles until they find something they can stick to that offers the greatest reward for their effort. This is my story. Narrative poetry earned me some measure of recognition which I am very much not content with. Contemporary fiction holds great promise for me and that is why there is work ongoing with World Arts Agency whom I am signed, to find a home for my works. 

Is anything in your books based on real-life experiences or purely all imagination?

My story plots are fictionalized but mostly based on isolated events that happened in real life. For example, I am currently polishing off a novel manuscript about a Nigerian deported from Northern Cyprus who then has to deal with the stigma associated with being a deportee. The story offered the reader an insight into the realities of the life of a young African in Northern Cyprus and the many challenges they have to contend with. So many people can relate to this and I am certain some will argue on many fronts it is biographical because every Nigerian knows someone close to them who has been deported at some point from overseas. So, yes, my stories are based on events that are obtainable, relatable and as much real.

How did you come up with your titles?

I am someone who loves to experience and observe, and this affords me so much insight into things. It helps me in this regard.

What is your work schedule like when you\"re writing?

I don’t have a strict work schedule but I prefer to write first thing in the morning and sleep off the afternoons, especially now that it is summer. It is always different in winter, though. In springtime, I prefer to sit in a park in the company of blossoming plants and greenery to write. My present location offers me that, and I am eternally grateful for this.

How/where do you get information or ideas for your books?

My ideas for books come from keen observation. Sometimes I see a recurrent event of social importance that goes unnoticed and then I take it as a responsibility to build an engaging plot around it to entertain as well as to enlighten my readers. When I encounter an aspect that I am not too familiar with, I reach out to people who have experience in that area. A lot of my friends are used to having me call at odd hours to interrogate and compare notes with them on certain aspects that I am writing about. 

What was one of the most surprising things you learned in writing your books?

Truly, I learn surprising things constantly, and one outdoes the other. Professionally, I learn a lot from my agent, Jeremy Warren Rourke, whose wealth of experience daily appears bottomless. Recently, I learned how to use chapter outlines to test the quality of my plot so that I can see what’s needed to be weeded out. 

Is there any author or book that influenced you either growing up or as an adult?

She, by Rider H Haggard, is one book that has never ceased to amaze me. It influenced me from much earlier. You see, I love tight plots and fast-paced works that can do something to your adrenaline. Besides, we live in an era where so many things compete for our attention, so if any work of literature can hold onto my attention from the beginning, all through to the end, then it is surely my thing. Recently, I have been thinking about Sex Is A Nigger by Naiwa Osahon. Memories of Our Recent Boom is one book I read as a boy that has stuck in my head ever since. You know, I miss the Nigerian literature of the 1970s. That, to me, was the golden age of African writing. But so much has happened, and I think it is the Biafran war that changed everything.

What do you consider your best accomplishment as a writer?

To be honest with you, my greatest accomplishment so far as a young writer is in sustaining the hope I can someday offer literary entertainment that will serve the taste of a vast audience cutting across continents. You know how it is being an African writer with no indigenous systems to sustain and encourage literature. Instead, we have dictatorial African governments who would rather chase writers from pillar to post in a bid to stifle art and the freedom of expression that it portends; hence the reason we creatives look to Western establishments for sustenance. 

How many books have you written? What are the challenges you faced in writing and publishing them?

I have written and published six works of poetry, two children’s books, including Saving Mungo Park, which I co-authored with Onyeka Nwelue. I have also published a crime novella, The Operative which is set in Nigeria, as all of my novels. We are about to pitch my novel, A Whisper of A Thing Forbidden, to publishers and I am very hopeful about the outcome, considering my agent maintains the work is a classic. As for challenges, I am at the stage in my career where I am dealing with everything that stands in the way of getting noticed by structures and gatekeepers to reading audiences. The most challenging part lies with writing and putting together a piece of literary work that will be worth the time and attention of agents and publishers. After then, a lot of other things come into play. It’s an uphill journey that demands patience and dedication.

How do you coordinate all the different parts of your life to leave room for writing?

I live a very simple life with writing at the centre of it all. I’m not yet married nor do I have any dependant, so this offers me a lot of freedom to pursue writing with patient dedication.

What is your best work so far? Or is the best yet to come?

My works are like dear children to me and it is very hard to favour one over the other. Yet I am certain that the best is yet to come and the choice will have to be made by my readers.

What are the challenges of being a writer in Nigeria, as compared to being a writer outside the shores of the country?

I will have to be personal with this one. The challenge for me is that it is not so easy to maintain an intuitive connection as one finds in Nigeria. Maybe it is because my works are set in Nigeria and somehow it feels tough trying to maintain a psychological connection from abroad. Aside from this, it is easy to find calm and quiet out here as long as you are not sucked into the pressures of keeping up with bills, being adopted into a social system. If this is the case, gradually you begin to lose focus. This is the case with many Nigerian music celebrities who relocated to the US.

How do you promote your books and are they yielding fruits?

Social media remains my best tool. I have sold more on Facebook, Twitter and Instagram than on any other platforms and it is helpful when readers made comments on their feeds about my books, thus helping to sustain the buzz around it. Also, I have sold very reasonably at literary events. I remember selling out all my book copies at Sound of Poetry, which is annually held in Yenagoa, Bayelsa State.  

 What kind of feedback do you get from your readers?

Sometimes I stumble upon social media tags where a reader has something pleasant to say about my book. This is mostly the kind of feedback I get and it is greatly enriching.

Give us an interesting, fun fact about the writing of any of your books.

I remember travelling to my village in 2017 and listening to our community head laments the feud between our local Anglican cathedral and the community over a vast expanse of ancestral lands which the church was laying claim to, even going on to assemble an intimidating team of high-profile lawyers which the community couldn’t afford. The whole story amused me when I considered that the cathedral was built by the community and sustained by their tithes, offerings, and donations. I had to sit back and begin to write the narrative verse A Tale To Twist which, upon publication, was described by the Country musician, Roger D’Arcy, as being Homeric.

If you had to go back and do it all over, is there any aspect of your novel or getting it published that you would change?

Yes. I would actually have started out much earlier in my pursuit of writing as a career and got a related undergraduate degree instead. This would have changed everything concerning my writing and publications.

 Where is the best channel to reach you and learn more about your books?

My books are all available on my author website www.ikennaokeh.com.  They are also available on Okadabooks. I am also very much active on social media.

Do you have any advice to give to aspiring writers, especially in your genre?

I will tell any aspiring writer to keep writing and reaching out to industry contacts. There is no other way around this thing.

 When did you start writing and promoting music?

I started promoting music in 2017 when Peter Hesen, a Dutchman who was a fan of my poetry, invited me on board the Ubuntu FM team. By then he and King Mavuthela from South Africa had already set up the groundwork and put things in motion. Together, we launched the online radio stations, drafted out a promotional plan, and took things off the ground. So far, we have continually offered promotional services for record labels, PR firms and indie artists from Europe, Africa and the USA.

What’s your favourite music/film?

I love a good number of movies, and it is hard to make a list of them. However, Mr Johnson comes to mind for its flawed representation of Nigeria in the 1930s. It doesn’t mean I don’t love the movie. As for music, anything by MI Abaga is my favourite. At Ubuntu FM, most of us share the belief that MI Abaga is the best hip-hop artist of all time; his music is ingenious, poetic, and it has class. 

How do you relax and what are your hobbies aside from writing?

I watch a lot of movies and I love conversations over wine or beer, depending on the company. Doing the latter while seated out at the beach at night has become my recent pastime. 

I'M NOT A POET

I'm not a poet

I'm the poem itself

Poetry is my unfiltered blood

And my breath

I write my laughter

And my tears 

I paint the sky, 

with my poetic magic

I write and swim in the

Ocean of pure poetry

I write when the scotching 

Sun is set to bed

I write where water became ice

I write on every wall of friends' heart

I write on how the lamp

Sell the light at dusk

My sparkling pen bleeds

When I'm over the moon

And when the stars are not

Shining, my ink speaks

To reflect pure poetry,

And for my brighter tomorrow

Ringing I

The bell of hope with my pen

Even when the drum is cool

My magical pen speaks to

Stand for no defeat

But paint a life  no repeat.

My pen bleeds 

For my life is poetry

I write to be the voice of voiceless mothers

I write with the ink

Made of hope and wisdom

From my golden heart.

I sleep on verses and stanzas

My pen is always awake

To break silence

I rise despite

All my falls

I'm not a poet

I'm the poem itself.

By Nusaiba Alkasim Muhammad

Nusaiba Alkasim Muhammad, A student of Gombe international school. She is an upcoming poet, essayist and short story writer.

LET ME GO HOME

          (I)

let me go home

for years I\"ve wastefully wallowed

in lust after West,

far from home.

I left like the second in that book

but not as the second son

father sired us many, multitudes, millions.

I left like the second in that book

but not as the second son...

Esau of the house left before me

so father\"s sons followed.

we left, father\"s wealth, not left.

we left, we took left and left-

went far, far west

where rain reigned, snow soared,

far, far west

where bikini girls guarded father\"s wealth

and aside we stood watching

as Njuka, watching their bobbling breasts,

lustfully lost.

father waited, he grew wearied

his mouth mourns all morning.

                 (II)

let me go home...

WAIT!

if I do, \"ll father recognize me?

bikini girls wangling waists,

have pierced my ears, a shinning ring noted

I believed her I "ll look better

so dangled it I along

as father\"s yoke dangles

on goat\"s neck.

let me go home,

if father recognize me,

I trust, no cock slaughters he-

for I am his killjoy

let me go home-

mind mindfully ready

but strength?

bikini girls stole my strength

when I dug into their honey pots

when my eyes hugged their breasts

when my ears listened

to the rhythmic wangles of their waists

my mind is ready

but strength...

let go my strength

let me go home!

NB: Njuka means " a newcomer" it is gotten from Ngugi Wa Thiong\"o\"s WEEP NOT, CHILD.

By Som Ogboh

Som Ogboh attended Sacred Heart College, St Paul\"s University College, Nibo-Nise and The University of Nigeria, Nsukka. He studied Education, English and Literature with a special interest in Poetry. He has written several poems published in several Journals, Magazines and Texts in Nigeria and England, UK. In 2016, he won the South-East Poetry Contest held at Imo State, Nigeria. He is a Literary Journalist, Editor and seasoned educationist. He hails from Umuoram Ozzu Awkuzu, Anambra State, South-East Nigeria.

VALUE WHAT’S YOURS

 

VALUE WHAT’S YOURS

… So others can.

Once my son was loading his clothes into the washing machine, so I asked him to throw in his sisters’ clothes which were lying on the floor (beside the washing machine) when he is done.

No, he said.

But they are their Sunday clothes (it’s not okay for them to be on the floor), I pressed.

‘They do not value them, so, I don’t value them’. 

   ***

How about that?

Value what is yours… so others can.

Do not expect others to treat with value, what you keep as trash.

Prize your possessions, value your blessings–the people, places, things, gifts - the Lord has blessed you with. Do not belittle them.

The way you treat them is the way others will treat them.

Matthew 7: 6 advises us not to cast our pearls before swine, lest they trample them underfoot.

Value what is yours.

Treat it with respect.

God does. Zechariah 2: 8–‘For thus saith the LORD of hosts; After the glory hath he sent me unto the nations which spoiled you: for he that toucheth you toucheth the apple of his eye’.

He does not joke with you.

Value what is yours also.

[Extract from "Quiet Thoughts - Be inspired” © 2021]

By Helen Okore, the author of Quiet Thoughts.

Motivational and inspirational Christian books

helencruiseinspiration@gmail.com.

Helen Okore(Quiet Thoughts Author)

 

I first came in contact with her book Quiet Thoughts, through my sister who sent a copy to me in Lagos. The book was inspiring, and I wanted more of her books. When I travelled to Abuja and attended church service with my sister, a woman at the pastor’s corner of the church caught my attention.

What attracted me first was her smiles. They were genuinely beautiful. Then there was a gentleness to her movements and action. All these I noted and admired for over three months before I got to know she is the Helen Okore, the woman who had inspired me with her writings.

Helen Okore is a simple but amazing woman of God, very committed to her faith, to serving God and her Christian folds. She touches life not just with her books, Quiet Thoughts, but with her gentle and exemplary Christian life.

 My guest for this month author's hangout with Zizi, Helen Okore is a Christian writer, a pastor, a motivational/inspirational speaker and an Engineer.

With the senior pastor of her church at her book
launch in the church.

Tell us about yourself?

My name is Helen Okore. An encourager, a Christian inspirational author, and a preacher.

I write "Quiet Thoughts" - simple divinely inspired thoughts, drawn from everyday experiences and the Word - to encourage others.

When did you first realize you wanted to be a writer?

I can't say exactly when, but I published my first works in 2017. Prior to that time, I had been writing my thoughts for a while and attempted to publish them in 2008, but it did not work out.

What inspired you to become a Christian writer?

The HOLY SPIRIT. He inspires the thoughts, and I put them down.

How long does it take you to write a book?

Six months to one year.

What is your work schedule like when you're writing?

I try to put in 3 - 4 hours when I can.

How do you get information or ideas for your books?

From interacting with people, places, things and the Word.

What does your family think of your writing? How have they been of help to you?

They support my writing and are also blessed.

Usually, when I'm driving and my hands are not free, I dictate the thought to a child who is with me to help type into my phone. They also help through their comments and content-creating lifestyle.

What was one of the most surprising things you learned in writing your books?

A book comes out just before 'someone has need'; and when the book is published, the relevant thought speaks "directly" to the person's need. It's amazing! Like a 'love letter' to the person from God to comfort them at that point of need. It's refreshing! And energizes me to deliver on a project as scheduled, even when I am facing challenges and would want to move the publishing date forward.

Is there any author or book that influenced you either growing up or as an adult?

Author: Joyce Meyer

Book(s): "Can I be real?" By Ekene Onu and "The diaries of the desperate naija woman" by Bola Essien.

Growing up, I read "everything read-able" - from Pacesetter series to African Writer series, to James Hadley Chase, to Mills and boons and other good reads.

What do you consider your best accomplishment as a writer?

Blessing lives.

How many books have you written? What are the challenges you faced in writing and publishing them?

Seven books.

Challenges: Sometimes disciplining myself to settle down, to write, amid other responsibilities begging for attention or being distracted.

For publishing, it's majorly cost: to get the quality you want at a cost that is accessible to a lot of people.


I noticed most of your books are on hardcovers. Why? Do you have an e-copy version of your book?

I have 4 in paperback, though I prefer hardcovers for durability and aesthetics.

Don't have an e-book presently.

How do you market your work? What avenues have you found to work best for your genre?

I market majorly on my WhatsApp status, and sometimes on my Facebook platforms.

What works best from experience is recommendations coming from the mouth of those who have been blessed and impacted by the books to others. Their testimony does it.

How do you combine being an Engineer, a wife/mother, a pastor and then a writer? I mean, how do you coordinate all these different parts of your life?

I try to squeeze out time to write first thing in the morning and whenever I can during the day when I am tied to a '9 - 5'. Otherwise, I create a 'window of writing' within the day, when I have other work at hand.

What is your best work so far? Or is the best yet to come?

I wouldn't say best, but God put more pressure on me for my recent work.

What are the challenges of being a writer in Nigeria?

Basically, marketing and distribution.

We do not have publishers especially gospel-content publishers who have the network and scope to take the book 'from you' and run with it, while you "just write".

What measures are you taking to promote your books and are they yielding fruits?

Advertising content on social media.

During the launch of her seventh book.

Not enough fruits, yet.

I guess I need to give them wider coverage.

Do you get feedback from your readers?

Yes.

Where is the best channel to reach you and learn more about your books?

The best channel to reach me is via my email @: 

helencruiseinspiration@gmail.com.

For now, I share more on my books on my WhatsApp posts.

Do you have any advice to give to aspiring writers, especially in your genre?

For aspiring writers in Christian inspirational writing, maintain a close relationship with the Holy Spirit. For He said His 'sheep hear his voice ... and the sheep follow him: for they know his voice.’ Inspirational writing is basically responding to the 'good matter God is bubbling in your heart', and putting it down. (John 10:3 ‭-‬ 4 KJV, Psalm 45: 1)


What else are you great at that few people know about?

Designing clothes.

How do you relax?

Watching feel-good movies.

What’s your favourite music/film?

Favourite music now, "Na you dey Reign" by Mercy Chinwo.

Film: I like Hallmark movies.